Agent Ei’s Planetary Diary

by Andrew Smith

The Venus Diaries on the 21st and 22nd January as Venus sextiles Pluto

Ah the joys of seeing the tangible expression of your maturing heart-reality! As you have sought to heal prior unkind experiences, your sense of esteem and worth has strengthened and the latent potential of your heart-essence and the free fluid expression of your sense of love has been unleashed. Through this protect space, deeper insight into why you have journeyed with pain (yours or ancestral) has been invoked, releasing that which can now be offered up and healed. As lOve further awakens within you, the night of your heart feels more like dawn breaking. Where before there was anonymity, now there is intimacy; where before there was fear, now there is courage; where before there was awkwardness, now there is a rhythm of grace and gracefulness; where before you used to be jagged, now you are elegant and in rhythm with yourself. As lOve awakens, it is like a rebirth. Everything is possible. Everything.

Andrew Smith @2017

Image credit – Thitipon Dicruen

The Red Diary for the 18th and 19th January as Mars squares Saturn

Your ability to bring spirit into matter is being tested during this time, so the principle question revolves around your clarity and honesty in bringing forth Spirit – how clear are you? Does your ego get in the way? Do you remain on your path when anger takes you? What quality of spirit manifests through you, when practicalities get in the way? Are you able to rise above the distractions, the soap opera dramas, the desires, the lusts, the ambitions and the goal setting when they cross your path, especially if they don’t serve your higher good?

Andrew Smith © 2017

The Red Diary on the 17th January as Mars quincunxes Jupiter

Amidst the copious distractions and pulls on your energy, focus and concentration, you are being called upon to draw deeply on your own faith and belief in yourself and in what you are doing, as you need to check in with yourself to see how you are doing and whether you are acting in accordance with your inner convictions and purpose. This is a call to action, action to actualise your will and to raise up the power and drive of your base chakra into activities that best serve bring light from spirit into form. As desire rises, so too does the opportunity to stray from your path. This challenge is being put in your way, so you discover the strength of your will power to stay the path.
Andrew Smith © 2017

The Red Diary on the 16th January as Piscean Mars conjoins Chiron

4 minute video – https://vimeo.com/143922798

There is no doubt that some souls appear to have gravely difficult paths and that their physical functioning is severely limited, as seen through the eyes of those who can ‘function normally’. There is no doubting the suffering that some people carry with their disability, and how that disability can impact those within their world. Whether that ‘disability’ truly thwarts a soul’s capacity to express itself or whether that soul somehow finds a way to grow within the psycho-spiritual matrix generated by those ‘disabling’ scripts truly defines whether a disability is truly a disability or just another way of ‘being’.
What constitutes a disability? Is it merely a physical or mental phenomenon? What about those emotional of psychological patterns that deeply scar and wound? What about those deeper spiritual scripts that are carried through your bloodline, reoccurring over time as your soul attempts to work through those barriers that hinder your experience oneness?

It is impossible not to navigate through life without becoming wounded, experiencing pain, amassing regrets and suffering what the ego interprets as being disappointments. Those patterns can feel disabling as they ‘appear’ to control and puppeteer life. Is disability truly a disability, if it is inherent within each and every living being, or is disability a set of specific set of conditions through which a soul can grow in some way?

Eden Cipolla is a remarkable lady, born with Cerebral palsy, yet despite her ‘disabled’ state, her art is alive with her heart and soul, expressing so much depth, insight and profound wisdom, wisdom that has arisen with formal learning, without having travelled the world and sat at the ‘feet’ of masters who have imparted their knowledge for her to grow. Her ‘limitations’ and ‘wounds’ have not prevented her from expressing her heart and soul and her story is truly touching and inspirational and gives pause to complete what does disability truly mean.

“Eden tells me that at one point in her life that she was not aware of her limitations. Her art work is about her rebirthing process, her rebirth into a more realistic thinker with no more unrealistic expectations and so many more possibilities” Nicolette.

“I want disabled people to know that whatever level of ability they have, they can make art…” Eden Cipolla

My thanks to Sandra Orellana Sears for sharing Eden’s story and this video clip with me

Andrew Smith © 2017
Image of Sandra and Eden
Video courtesy of Joshua Enoch Williams

The Red Diary on the 15th January as Piscean Mars conjoins Chiron

Are you able not to descend to ‘bar fight’ when unkindness graces your life?

With your heart operating at a higher level these days and with so much evidence of unkind actions, ego driven comments, heightened stress and anxiety within a desperately fast paced time, unkindness is an opportunity to treat with kindness, as fear, frustration and anger cede in the face of lOve’s overpowering humility and awareness.

But it is so easy to fall when your ego gets in the way, after all is it not right to stand up for yourself, defend yourself and not take that s***e without a fight? There are, of course, times wherein it may be right to stand up for your beliefs and to protect those whom you feel need protecting. But that does not mean you have to fight a fight by fighting! There are ways to channel your passion, your warrior spirit and your determined focus in a way that is concentrated and resolute, without dropping your standards. And this time is one of those moments wherein you are being handed an opportunity to ‘see’ how well you cope when hurt, as you can clearly see whether you walk a path of spirit or remain perpetually chained to the path of ego. Descend or ascend, which will it be?

Andrew Smith © 2017

The Venus Diaries on the 14th January as Venus quintiles Mercury

There you stand, golden ticket in your hand, having worked ever so hard to gain entrance into this vast palatial hall. Before lies open innumerable doors, each as enticing as the next, each leading you towards differing, but warm and inviting worlds. The choice lies within you, as it always has, but something feels different. Perhaps it is the lack of stress or anxiety; perhaps it is the absence of pressure; perhaps it is an instinct that there is will be no wrong decision made in this protected space; perhaps all the processing, integration and growth that you have undertaken to gain insight into your esteem, worth and value have worked and now, before you lies the culmination of that journey – multiple options, multiple opportunities and a sense of unlimited support. One door feels more welcoming than the rest and towards it you walk. Stepping across the threshold, it feels both comfortable and not familiar, a feeling you have not had in a long time. It warms your heart and a smile spreads across your face, as your eyes open wide in pleasant affirmation, your heart beating in tune with the joy that now floods through your awareness. You have made the right choice!

Andrew Smith © 2017

The Venus Diaries on the 13th January as the jewel in the night, Venus conjoins Neptune in Pisces
Stepping down from the podium on which her Throne sits, she gracefully walks towards the rhythmic cascading of the breaking waves. Irresistibly drawn to submerge herself, she breathes deeply in the ionized air, feeling a calming peace settle her by this sea of grace. How gentle the water feels, immersed here beneath the waves of a deeper, vaster love. The stillness and deafening silence soothes her soul and starkly contrasts the mental noise from which she came.
 
“Within these waters life began”, she hears, “Water is your life giver. You cannot survive without her. You have built your cities on the landscape she has shaped – riverbeds, alluvial planes, coastlines. She can extinguish even the hottest known fire, lava; flood or fertilise your earth; and cools your air. She is instinct. She is feeling. She is shapeless, fluid and malleable. She can be solid, liquid or gaseous. She is inconstant and is always in flow. She is continually adapting to her surroundings. She nourishes and activates life. She is within you. She is without you. She is omnipresent.
 
“So trust in your life and let go. Let it all go! It is time to let go all longing and desire. lOve cannot flourish unless you are permanently free of your egoic constructs. Your presence within these waters is intense enough to dissolve your pain-body. So cleanse yourself of expectation and attachment. Feel your formlessness and timelessness. Look beyond the veil of form and separation. Realise oneness. This is lOve. This is what is within your reach – the being underneath the thinker, the love and joy underneath the pain- freedom, salvation and enlightenment”.
Breaking the surface and gasping for air, her wistful dreams floating away from her, her eyes opened, her heart beckons, she feels refreshed and renewed.
 
Andrew Smith © 2017
Image credit unknown – the goddess Lemanja

The Venus Diaries on the 12th January as Venus reaches her greatest elongation above the Sun in the early evening skies, marking her maturity and rest, as she prepares for the next stage of her journey – her descent!

At last, Her Throne…

Slowly, steadily this maturing process has unfolded. Starting back on the 24th July, her world has been tested, as every value that she has in her heart has been scrutinised. There have been sizeable affronts to all she loves; questions as to all that she holds dear; and questions raised as to every relationship that she is actively part of. It would have been easy to react; to justify herself; to defend herself, yet something within her told her that that path would not work this time; that she would continue to be enslaved and perpetuate the old dive and conquer paradigm. Even when every fibre in her body wanted to scream out at the injustices; the slagging; the shaming; the lies; the deception; the wonton abuse of power; the ignorance and the lack of awareness, something in her calmly spoke that lOve will always prevail. Even within her darkest, loneliest moments, she heard whisper in the night – lOve will always prevail. Even when she felt despondent and despair at the unkind words, deeds and actions, she knew that lOve would ultimately prevail. Even when she felt her heart could break at her seemingly powerlessness in the face of greed, nepotism and ignorance, she felt the gentle touch of lOve and knew that there would be another way.

And there has been another way. A higher road. A road that has steadily lit her interiority, illuminating the shadows that have enslaved her heart, making her believe that she could never make a living from what she loved; never experience the gentle touch of love; and never see her heart’s love openly and freely expressed. She saw clearly that love was not lOve and when lOve was infused into her being, her perspective changed and she felt that she could make a living from what she lOved; that lOve had gently enveloped her; that lOve was all that she had to offer; that lOve chased away the shadows and illuminated her path.

Egoic desire ceded to heart centred expression; discernment replaced judgement; hunger and longing yielded to tolerance and patience; acceptance, gratitude and compassion strengthened as she remembered who she is and embodied the fullness of her experience, reaching up to a more full, more mature and more conscious expression of her femininity and creativity.

At the top of this climb, she can see before her, her next journey, as the path slopes downwards towards her next destination, in 86 days. But for now as she ascends her throne, her brilliance radiates for all to see, unveiling all that she is and all that she can be – a true conscious expression of her heart’s potential.

Andrew Smith © 2017

The Venus Diaries on the 11th January as Piscean Venus has one foot on her Throne, reaching for the hand of Neptune
1 more day …
 
There is nothing more profound that emanating true bliss and to stand in the presence of Oneness. Your heart longs for that space and it has driven your desire for true soul union, a union based in lOve and not love. Love will sustain you only so far, love will inspire you, enchant you, entice you, lifting you up to a height and leave you pining for more. Love is you tilt your lance at windmills, as you hungrily seek union is another. Yet is it this love that fulfils your maturing heart? Is it this love that sustains you? Is it this love that continually opens your heart, time and time again?
 
True love comes from lOve.
 
As you experience lOve, you realise that nothing is not you; you realise the divinity in all things – living or ‘not’; you realise that everything is right and perfect, and those voices in your head that stand in judgement do not come from lOve; and you realise that when you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you and that lOve is everything that exists.
 
And so, this climb has been all about seeking to release all the patterns that prevent your physical being from experiencing Oneness, as you seek to calm your ego from the expectation of meeting someone who will fulfil you, and as you dissolve your worry about achieving your egoic desire of living the dream, you find yourself and you realise the illusion in projection and anticipation and your focus returns to the now and your acceptance of all that is and all that accompanies you.
 
1 more day…
Andrew Smith © 2017
Image Credit – Unknown
The Venus Diaries on the 10th January as Piscean Venus reaches out towards her Throne and Neptune
2 days …
 
Maturity and wisdom is such a kicker, bemoans the box of chocolates that lies unopened on the coffee table, having tried its hardest to grace her lips and hips. In what supposed to be a lull, she remembered that the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom, and having decided to find another route to that palace, she forsook the stimulants even though her heart was pulled. So onwards she climbs, ever higher, her throne finally in sight.
 
What a profound journey she has been travelling, ever conscious that she needs to en-bright-en her heart. And it has not been easy at times, after all there are no true guidelines to experience lOve, but so many to reinforce love. Conscious not to repeat what has gone before and expect a different outcome, she realised that love has not worked. That has been so difficult to accept. Everything she had learnt told her that love is all she needed and this fuelled her younger dreams, actions and thoughts. She moved continents, crossed countries, quit jobs, stayed in unhealthy situations, all because she wanted love and that her actions would increase love in her life. Yet, she realised, through heart ache and disappointment that love had rules. Love had rules? What?
 
And then it dawned on her. Love without lOve is not love; lOve has no conditions or limitations; lOve has no expectations; lOve has no scripts or patterns; and lOve defies time. Her ego said: “I will love you if…” but this love is not lOve. It is fleeting; it comes and goes depending on what people are doing and thinking and it gets mixed up with a lot of nonsense and process. lOve on the other hand is pure and unveiled. It is always present, regardless of whether or not you are in a relationship. And it has always been within your own heart. But everything about this world has sought to blocked this gnosis. Until now.
 
It has finally dawned on her. Love is not lOve.
Love is not lOve.
Love is not lOve.
Her throne draws ever nearer…
 
2 days…
Andrew Smith © 2017
image Credit – Unknown
The Venus Diaries on the 9th January as Piscean Venus trioctiles Libran Jupiter
3 days …
 
Nearly there! Long has been the climb. Not as youthful as you’d like to think. Your legs maybe tired but your mind is alert and eagerly scanning the horizon. Just ahead. Just a few more steps to go. And then its downhill. Literally. 104 days before the inevitable. But that’s for another day.
 
For today, the ‘feel good’ factor, arms anticipating a good ol’ rest just behind your head; your weary legs longing to stretch out before you; your bum wanting to lounging on a comfortable sofa; your eyes looking forward towards watching your favourite movie; your tummy ignoring your resolutions and slowing metabolism as your nostrils pick up the scent of those sugary goodies within arm’s reach; and then your heart, has worked so hard, has cleared so much, has matured so deeply, but still reckons that the most delectable lover, scantily dressed serving you the nectar of your choice is still an enticing offer… too good to be true?
 
Perhaps. But you’ve worked hard. You’ve released much. You’ve step above those ego responses that could have set you back. Your heart has grown. Your heart has been really learning the difference between love and lOve, so a little distraction back into love is okay… isn’t it? Just remember, a second on the lips is a …
Enjoy today.
 
The climb tomorrow and 3 more days …
 
Andrew Smith © 2017
Art by Benjamin Constant, Favorite of the Emir
The Orange Diary on the 8th January as Mercury turns
91 days…
 
And so, just like that, emails find their way to their rightful place; keys magically reappear; the paper upon which contracts are signed breathe easily and eagerly beckons to the pen and ink so they can enjoy a smooch without interruption; and people stop misinterpreting each other, start fully listening and reading, as opposed to skimming and feeling overloaded with so many communication platforms open at once! After all, that is the only purpose of Mercury’s backwards wandering three to four time a year. Isn’t it?
 
So how was it really for you? Were you able to find quietness and reflection time coming up to the solstice and before the New Moon? Were you able to let go of some central thought-forms that were puppeteering your reality prior to the 28th December? Were you able to decide upon a Word that would inspire you to create your reality over the coming months? Have you been able to gently play with that Word over the arbitrary start of the new western calendar? And are you confident to infuse that Word into your world, watching it grow and along with it a fresh take on your reality between now and the 7th March?
 
However, if you prefer to believe that things go wrong within Mercury Retrograde, tickety boo, as I hear your shout “Yippee, it’s finally over”! Here’s to the next that things can only go wrong – from the 10th April… hmm…
 
91 days…
 
Andrew Smith © 2017
Image from socialfeed.com

The Venus Diaries on the 8th January as Piscean Venus octiles Arian Uranus

4 days …

Tired of pretending, no longer interested in the ‘game’, guilt and shame no longer sheltering your supposedly vulnerable heart, confidence has been steadily growing this past few months of your unique natural perfection. No longer be able to assert your unlovability, you have been steadily discovering the difference between love and lOve. No longer able to conclude that a mistake has been made or that you were born under a bad star, you have seen that even your neurotic spinning has been woven of particles full of luminosity, brilliance and, ironically, intelligence. There has never been ‘you’ here and ‘lOve’ over there, after all that is love’s domain. lOve is you. lOve is not something that you need to search for or hope that it will find you. lOve may not even be found within the arms of another. lOve is you. lOve is imbued in the fabric of your unique cosmic DNA. There is no need to suspend your participation here until things look the way you thought they would. lOve is here now and is burning up in its longing to move through you to set this world on fire, a fire that is rising up through you, freeing your heart’s emotions and opening you up fully and irrevocably. Viva le Maturing, wizening heart.

4 days…

Andrew Smith © 2017

The Venus Diaries on the 7th January as Piscean Venus conjoins the South Node and octiles Uranus, as the Sun conjoins Pluto

5 days …

What is it about life that you gain insight and perspective regarding your heart centred patterns, feel elated that you have deftly navigated around so many distractions and have raised the bar, to wake up, feel another’s pain and then to dive back into the waters from which you have swam. It’s like ground hog day! But something is changing. It may feel familiar and you experientially know what can arise, as the lantern beckons on the shelf eagerly imploring you to don your empath’s uniform and to head out onto the dramatic war torn landscape in search of someone to save. But something in you does not want to grasp the lantern; something in you has strengthened and is no longer drawn by the emotional drama of pleading souls of are not interested in using your help to truly help themselves. Is this what discernment is about? Is this what maturity entails? It is not easy, but something feels different.

Perhaps it is exhaustion from picking up too many sensations from the world around you? Perhaps it is frustration of feeling queasy from the toxicity of the fear body that has gripped the world? Of perhaps it has been this inner flame rising of late? A quintessence that has stirred from deep within; a presence that you have previously felt but been too afraid to surrender to; a fire that burns, yet does not hurt; a fire that cleanses, but does not destroy. Your heart feels that familiar tug, but that flame … that flame… so compelling… so transfixing… so fascinating …

Will you step into this inner fire and further purify, heal and cleanse your soul of all ego-heart driven longing to ease the pain of separation? Will you channel this ‘watery-fire’ through you into a more liberated state of awareness, helping you connect to your higher self and opening you up to a complete shift in awareness and consciousness of your heart’s expression? Will you stay the path as your heart further awakens or will you take up that lantern and dive back into the unconscious waters, seeking to save those who don’t truly want to be saved?

5 days…

Andrew Smith © 2017

Image from oprisco.com

The Venus diaries on the 6th January as Piscean Venus quintiles Saturn as the Sun starts to embrace Pluto

6 days…

Ah the test. To love or to lOve? To accept another as they are, knowing that they reflect some deeper aspect of yourself, their presence in your life mirroring some deeper process in you, helping you to reclaim those ‘unseen’ qualities back, yet remaining whole and present to share love, to share lOve and to share love and lOve? Or to appear to accept another as they are, knowing that the reflect some deeper part of you but hoping that they will somehow ‘see’ you, love you and perhaps lOve you and maybe even love and lOve you?

Ah the test. To push the process faster than it should go, to allow your hunger and desire get in the way, or to hope that because you felt pain, processed and released that that is sufficient? Or to accept that your soul will be ready to truly connect at the deepest level possible with someone who is truly ready to connect at the deepest level possible, when their soul is ready, and that when that time comes, regardless of whether there are darkened times shared, misunderstandings, complex pasts, emotional processing or whatever, that you will be met, you will meet and you can truly merge as One, yet remain not as One?

Ah the test. To allow your heart the grace of temperance, the wisdom of experience and the confidence that lOve will embrace you and that you have not done something wrong if love has pained, or love has waned, or if lOve has not truly flowed between you and another yet? Or to pretend that your heart has temperance, wisdom and confidence, yet deep within you don’t truly believe in your power to attract love or lOve, that you push your ego in pursuit of love or lOve and misdirect your heart’s energy, ironically creating a reality that eventually does not believe in love or lOve?

Ah the test. To em-power your heart or to end-the-power of your heart with your ego’s desires and longings? To love or lOve or love and lOve?

Ah the test…

6 days…

Andrew Smith © 2016

Art by karimdell

The Venus Diaries on the 5th January as Venus octiles Pluto

7 days…

Grown invisibly within you have been branches that now need to be disentangled from your heart. You have started to realise how your look often darkened when you should have felt safe enough to fall toward love and how deep down your eyes were always owned by someone or something, converting whoever came into a further figure of the wrong, because you were already torn. But something is changing as your memory is ready to show you everything, your soul having waited all these years for you to return and know. And yes, you will have to scrape through all the layers of covering and according to your readiness, everything will open, offering you the prospects of true freedom, as you silently grieve, release and let go. But inwardly weep as you may, your tears fall over that wounded place, washing away your hurt and free your heart and your forgiveness stills the hunger of that wound. Ready to walk from that place, reunited with your banished heart, healed and free, you will soon start to feel the clear and free air bless your refreshed, renewed and finally maturing heart!

7 days…

Andrew Smith © 2017

Image by Delores DeVelde

The Venus Diaries on the 4th January as Piscean Venus octiles Pluto

8 days …

Your heart is like the ocean. On the surface, it is constantly being whipped up by the breath of the world and the eros of the Heavenly Queen. Chaotic it appears, one moment calm, the next turbulent. But go a little deeper and you discover that the waters of the ocean constantly move in a purposeful and determined manner. You cannot see these forces from the surface. And you cannot see the great abundance of life within the ocean looking only from the surface.

Likewise, if you look at your heart from the surface, that place where you are ‘expected’ to live every day, you cannot see its depths, or the greater currents that are moving your life, or the greater purpose for which you have come. But deep down your heart is quiet and there are deeper currents moving your life; currents that have a telos; currents that have purpose, meaning and an unfathomable ability to connect your love to lOve; currents that if you surrender, trust and let go, will enable you to drown in lOve.

Remember that you can remain whole and intact, even if you let go; remember that you can rise above the heart-wrenching crises that have befallen your earthly self, transforming that pain into something more powerful, as you remember that you can do nothing more than lOve and lOve again and again, as there is nothing more transformative than an open, vulnerable, lOving heart. It is your life giver and sustainer, without which you would wither and desiccate, in the same way that our earth cannot survive without its Living Water. So lOve and lOve again and again. Don’t lose the faith if your heart remembers the raw and darker times today.

8 days …

Andrew Smith © 2016

Image Credit – stock image