11

Agent Ei’s Planetary Diary

by Andrew Smith

The Red Diary on the 18th September as Fixed Air Mars squares Fixed Earth Uranus

Reactions heightened by the fire that has been released from below, rising through you at light speed, over riding all in its wake, commandeering your body, your mind, your voice and your perception, channelling through you without contemplation and directed out into the world towards those who have stoked the red flame. Was it justified? Was there another path available? Did it come from a place of unkindness within, did it come from countless frustrations that have built up to this moment, did it come from a strong need not to be objectified, judged or belittled? Or did it come from an undifferentiated place within, a place that needs the gift of kindness? Whilst enveloped by the heat, who cares? But as your sOul cools, there is plenty to reflect upon as lines in the sand have been drawn, defences strengthened, nerves exhausted, and mind caught in a moment that may take a while to move on from.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art: Beauty and the Beast on Fine Art America – no artist cited

The Venus Diary on the 16th September as Fixed Water Venus octiles the Jupiter/Pluto midpoint

19 and 38 days to go…

How deep those heart scripts lie; how powerful a fuel they have been, guiding people and circumstances onto your path who have colluded with you to provoke some amazingly terrifying emotional responses, which you have skilfully contained so that no-one is the wiser, within a dam bounded by The Great Northern Wall. But as winter has come and those darkened shadows have been confronted, no longer do you feel the need to continue travelling with those powerful non-verbal reactions. Too many inner tears have been spilled into this Lake, too much time and energy has been invested in building The Wall, and too weary are your feet from the shadow dancing with those whose consciousness reflects the You from time past. As your heart starts the process of re-newal in just over a month’s time, you will swim within these deep waters, as you seek to communicate openly and freely, without expectation of return and without intent to aggravate or bind further to your past. With the experience you have accumulated over the past 18 months, and particularly since January, you have nought to fear, even if you have to let go any residual attachments to those who prefer to engage with who you have been. This heart-medicine is powerful and will continue with its healing potential over the five weeks to come, so please remember that massive healing is available to you if you dive deeply to find the pearl at the bed your Lake.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Photo by Rafal Meszka

The Orange Diary on the 15th September as Mutable Earth Mercury approaches its Superior Conjunction with the Sun in trioctile to Uranus

Ideas a plenty, options abound, opinions are offered revealing many doors to choice from, each of which are plausible and somewhat relevant. It can be hard to know which one is ultimately the most appropriate one for you now, even though you will gain something regardlessly. Some will lead you down an meandering adventure and eventually back on track, others will distract you for some time before you realise that you didn’t truly listen to what your gut was telling you, whilst one will offer you a swift and comfortable route to where you need to go. So this weekend as you stand, head filled with decisions, your body alive with nervous anxiety, your mind working overtime and somewhat distracted by busyness as you try to simplify and systemise all that lies before you, remember to listen within to what your gut is telling you, as opposed to the willingness of those helpful supporters whose intentions are genuine but whose counsel may lead you mildly astray. Waste not time entertain fear, after all there is never truly a wrong decision, only those that build unexpected experience along a longer path.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by jacek yerka

The Venus Diary on the 14th September as Fixed Water Venus sextiles Cardinal Earth Saturn as Mutable Earth Mercury opposes Mutable Water Neptune

22 and 41 days to go…

Head spinning from the emotional questioning, that ancient reflection of worth and value re-surfacing, the heart battling with non-attachment and non-expectation though the head is giving a good account of itself – what are you truly gaining from where you have invested your emotional attention/ what is your true value/ have you really grown and integrated all that you say you have/ have you truly moved on/ why is it then that you seem to be a hamster on a wheel? And yet, somewhere deep within you know that everything feels different, that your responses are not as raw and immature as they have been, that you have spotted those familiar scripts much earlier than in the past and that you have taken more time to respond, even if your inner world feels shattered and chaotic. It is okay to feel raw. It is okay to have hopes. It is okay when disappointment envelopes you. You are human after all and you have deep feelings and a desire to connect intimately and truly with those in your world, even if it is not reciprocated. All you can do is to continue to lOve, and lOve again and again and again. Love has expectation but lOve does not and it is this lOve that you are truly seeking. So please remain open, after all there is nothing more painful that staying closed and building walls, even if that voice in your head seems reasonable … you are doing much, much better than you feel.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Donna Coburn

The Venus Diary on the 13th September as Fixed Water Venus opposes Fixed Earth Uranus

23 and 42 days to go…

Intense as the last couple of days may have been, anxiety dancing loudly within your heart, the past standing firm and solid in your clear line of sight, uncertain as to what your heart truly needs, caught as it is between a longing to be held yet hungry to maintain your autonomy, you may have forgotten that you have a second heart, a spiritual heart, a heart that beats eternally and connects you to a vaster field than the one your physical senses experience. That heart has no audible beat, yet permeates your consciousness, lifts your soul and speaks to you as an irrational feeling of right or wrong. You may have been trained not to listen to this heart, yet its truth is unequivocal. It is that voice inside you that knows what truth is and what the right thing to do is and it is penetrating your awareness with such force that other people are now hearing it and colluding with you to jolt you out of your comfort zone through their actions and inactions. Whether you see through the drama and upset and get the message depends on a number of factors but the feeling of remaining honest and not deviating from your authentic being is palpable. As you further awaken to your heart’s truth, your emotional heart is uplifted. As your emotional heart is freed, your spiritual heart’s beat can once again be heard.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Joyce Huntington

The Red Diary on the 10th September as Cardinal Earth Mars octiles Mutable Water Neptune

You are carrying a masterpiece hidden within you, but may be standing in its way! If you can move aside, it will be revealed! You have carried that masterpiece hidden for many lives, perhaps not knowing who you are, attempting to become someone within your physical life. If you can drop the idea of becoming someone and realise that you are already perfect and cannot be improved you will reduce much stress and anxiety and find that your energy levels are no longer dispirited as you connect deeper and further into your passion.

Andrew Smith ©2018

The Venus Diary on the 8th September as Evening Descending Cardinal Air Venus squares Out of Bounds Cardinal Earth Mars during the Balsamic Moon

27 and 48 days to go…

How can you heart be anything other than open these days? So many contradictory experiences surrounding, and traveling through, you it is no wonder that your spirit is a little weary, even if your heart is strong – the jOy of living your manifestation, the sOrrow of the pain of letting gO; the wOnder of how simple life can be when you get out of the way, the frustration at the dramas of those who know what they are doing does not serve them, but still they do it; the hOpe that things are falling into place, the despair that there are those who won’t share the mOment with you; the elegance of your dancing heart beating in symphony to that deeper beat, and the crude footfalls of those whose egOs are pretending that they hear. And so your heart swings violently from contrasting emotions, but would you have it any other way? Better to feel and live than to analyse and paralyse…

So during this evening’s darkened skies as your heart and desire prepare to start anew, ignore understanding the why of the emotional intensity and focus on keeping your heart open. Remember that when your heart opens, you forget yourself and life pours in, freeing further your heart, lessening your pain and in turn, lessening the pain you inflict upon your world, igniting the heart of those in your world, who in turn, ignites others, who in turn… and the wheel turns, the vibration changes, awareness raises and lOve furthers. Let gO and manifest lOve with your words and in your actions.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Amanda Cass

The Venus Diary on the 7th September as Cardinal Air Venus dances to an 8th Harmony with the Sun-Neptune opposition within the Mutable Earth/ Water matrix

28 and 49 days to go…

There she goes, immaculate, serenely dignified, confidently walking her path, her back upright, her chin minutely lifted, her gaze direct, firm but not imposing, her tone, commanding yet gentle. Engaging, wisdom pervades through her as experience has enabled her to integrate and grow, tempering her actions, softening her words. She is, divine.

But if you take the time to look a little closer and you may just glimpse her porcelain skin, craftily hidden, her eyes ever so slightly reddened and darkened from broken sleep, her mind, not quite as sharp as she mulls over that which is lost, her touch, uncertain, her body, imperceptibly weakened from the welting emotions that invisibly rage through her. Her heart is in transition, as she feels loss so keenly…

She is strong, but weakened; she understands, but is still hurting; she feels whole, yet half; she is calm, within the tempest. So hard it is to walk with awareness, knowing the deeper reasons why this has come to past, openly embracing those who have left, all the while wishing, wishing, wishing… She cannot stay here, that she knows, but, maybe just a few moments more, just to …

Shaking her head, dazed a little as she materialises back into the now, recomposed, she will live with the loss…

What a time.

How strong your heart is, despite… despite…

Be kind to yourself over the coming days.

Andrew © 2018

Art by Lesley Ann Odell

The Coral Diary on the 4th September as Cardinal Air Venus squares Cardinal Earth Mars

31 and 52 days to go…

Pounding hard, heart overload as so many options available to you and so many Muggles surrounding you, not truly getting it and you, their dramatic attempts to snare you, offering you a chance to see how far you have come with your healing, as every ounce of your sOul is needed not to react, every drop of compassion required as their pain body flays uncontrollably in your direction.

Within this agitated space, you know you have to find a new way to react; you have been so reasonable and understanding; you have wanted to maintain the sanctity of space and to remain poised and calm, but the intensity of those powerful emotions – the righteousness… the repartee… the defence… Do you force your heart into making sense of things, or do you listen to your body’s intelligence and wisdom, trusting this primal intelligence? Do you write it all down, or is that giving into your mind’s desire to control and understand? Boy it’s tough being an adult when it would be easier to give into the passion and drama. But the old ways will not work. lOve will find its way. It always does, as it envelopes space and time bringing those absent close, reminding you their hidden presence is never lost or forgotten.

Healing to all of you whose hearts are worn out from the attempt to go high when those around you choose low.

Lots of coral lOve to you.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Primal Painter on www. lightworkerenergyart.com

https://www.andrewsmith.ie/the-coral-diary/

32 and 53 days to go…

Are you listening? Even when those around you are caught up in their own stuff, chained by the heavy weight of should’s, could’s and ought to’s, projecting their fears and disappointments onto you, are you listening to your heart? I know you are aware that you can live fully immersed by the creativity of your sOul. I know that you know you can make a living from what you lOve. I also know that you are fully aware that many of the fears that envelope you are illusionary. But are you truly listening to YOUR heart and do you have confidence in your own inner spirit?

So within this pink-orange heart-set, mind-dawn time, my wish for you is that you find a harmony between your heart-sOul and mind; that you hear the gentle whisper of lOve guiding you each step of the way; that you never lose sight of your heart-dream and know that some dreams are neither fantasies or unrealistic; that you truly ‘know’ kindness; that you hear through the deception of fear, guilt, anxiety and disappointment; and that you give permission to your unfettered, untamed heart to openly express itself through you.

May this moment be the time through which your mind truly perceives this Path of lOve.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Digital Art by Christian Schloe

The Venus Diaries on the 2nd September as Descending, but increasing in luminosity, Evening Star Cardinal Air Venus octiles the Mutable Earth Sun

33 and 54 days to go…

It’s all about your heart these days – how you are able to maintain its integrity whilst moving through such emotional chaos, as friends and family alike appear to be caught up in the maelstrom of their own process and seeking guidance from you, as you appear to them to be a beacon of sanity and a rock of stability. Ironically, you too are going through it, but the processing that you have done has afforded you a deeper perspective that grants you a pass to slip beyond some of those deeply ancient dramas that just won’t go away. But it has been tiring. Ever so tiring. And your body is feeling it, despite the attention, the care, the good food, the cutting out of the toxins, the exercise and the attempts to get to bed early. Perhaps it is life times of stress and anxiety that has built up within you. Perhaps it is the psychic attacks that you have been fighting off. Perhaps it is the vampires who are eagerly sucking from your energy field, knowing too well that you are too kind, too reasonable and too much of service to tell them where to go. And so you engage, despite your limited time, despite your commitments and responsibilities, as you actively seek to be your heart, to be lOve and to be there. But you can feel that weariness creeping around you and you know you have to surrender and let go, focusing on your path, your journey and your heart. You know that you cannot compromise, nor placate egO’s unwillingly to truly heal or who are fed by the games, the manipulation and the drama. That may mean having to speak truth, gently, but firmly and that may mean upsetting those already upset. But it may be the only way, especially if your heart is fragile and your energy at risk… Just remember that because you walk the Path of lOve, does not mean that you have to be there for everyone. Sometimes it is compassionate and lOving to let them figure it out for themselves. After all, there is many a sOul that will do what they need to do, even if it is the painful choice… It is not your responsibility to heal them. By truly continuing to heal your own heart, you will create a higher vibrational space around you that will ‘impact’ those in your world, even if you say or ‘do’ nothing. Just hold a space for those you lOve but hold too that space for you, since you matter also.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image by HenriettesART

The Gold Diary on the 26th August as the Mutable Earth Sun trines the Cardinal Earth Saturn

Are you here? Or have you been time travelling, lost to your past as you seek to make sense of what has been or hungrily creating a vision of how you could be as your focus moves beyond to some future moment in time and space free of that which bound you? Has your focus been devoured by busyness that your sight has become microscopic, drawing your attention to only that which serves the task at hand, unintentionally ignoring serendipitous interventions as being irrelevant or ‘tests’ to your commitment and determination? Has time becomes an enemy, moving at light speed, never giving you a second chance, something that you have to seize, packing in as much as you can so that you can live the life you deserve or at least make the most of it, so that you can eventually live the life you were born to live, yet all the while missing what is going on for you now? Has fear or anxiety disabled you, pulling you from helpful support and kindness that surrounds you, reminding you that you are not alone and that you have never been truly alone? Has your heart become a fortress of distrust, hidden deep behind thick palisade walls, impenetrable to jOy and lOve, misinterpreting the actions and intentions of those who offer without agenda? Are you so deep in process that being here is such a mystery that you are unable to enter the sanctuary of stillness, acceptance and presence? Are you here or elsewhere? When you are with your lOved ones, are you truly with them or some place else, lost to them, as you are to yourself, to time, to process, to healing, to busyness, to anger, to sadness, to ambition? Are you so distracted by what you believe you are creating for yourself, that what and who stands before you is actually part of that creation, part of your path and necessary in the moment to who you are, who you have been and who you are becoming? As you become conscious of the here and now on this Sun-day, I hope you can awaken to the mystery of being here and to celebrate the miracles that constantly abound around you, requiring no attention but once acknowledged, accepted and truly heard, create jOy, peace and laughter in the face of your deep inner processing. Today is the day. There will be no other like it. Now is the moment from which you are creating along with those who show up in your life.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image from ABC News

The Gold Diary on the 25th August as Mutable Earth Sun trines Fixed Earth Uranus

Why not?

What have you got to lose?

Nothing. Losing is only something that arises from an ego ensconced within the outdated dualistic paradigm. How can you lose when what you do comes from that deep cOre, a place within you that does not think, does not rationalise, does not analyse and does not expect an outcome. It is a place wherein you act from a non-reactive way, being guided only by a deep truth, a truth that does not anticipate return, but merely acts from innocence and hunger to freely and openly live, a truth that has been cloaked within a protective state; a truth that you have been pealing back the layers of fear, doubt and conditioning to expose; a truth that has guided you by serendipity, co-incidence and the chaos of living as if there is no tomorrow.

The truth is that when you tap into the well of courage that resides deep within you; when you listen to your inner voice; when you make no apologies for who you are; the noise and constant distractions that surround you, fade; the opinions of others don’t matter anymore and you are no longer trapped.

You are free.

Free to be you so JUMP, if you have not already!

Andrew Smith © 2018

The Indigo Diary on the 25th August as Cardinal Fire Chiron quintile Cardinal Earth Pluto and trioctiles Fixed Water Jupiter

Silently moving, imperceptible to the horizontal mind too distracted to take note of the subtle changes that have been taken place deep within you, the medicine moves. Reaching back through linear time yet all the time miraculously encompassing your multiverse and your holographic, fractal sOul, the medicine envelopes soothes and eases the poisonous pinch of those extant primal ancestral patterns that have repetitiously arisen since you incarnated within this plane, during this time-line. Dizzy from the unfathomless hunger for those in your tribe who wish to continually feed blindly from that dis-ease, something within you is no longer willingly to remain trapped and disorientated on the spinning merry-go-round.

As you step off and away, the spinning continues for a while, as your mind tries to come to terms with the solid land that reaches up and through you in an attempt to stabilise the revolving universe within you. It is within this ‘grounding’ space that you ‘hear’ that earthy whisper speak through you, beckoning you to visit places wherein those patterns have landed. Irrational as it feels, a deep homing signal is ignited drawing you magnetically to those places that hold deep, deep familiarity. It is as if something within you wants to physically ‘reconnect’ with those memories, offering up to the ‘land’ this healing and forgiving medicine that is moving through you, as you seek to cleanse and purify your sOul in space, time, feeling and place of those patterns that have bound you fast to space, time, feeling and place.

If you feel the call to ‘re-visit’ one of your ancestral places – even if it is a ‘new’ place within your current time line –listen and follow that homing impetus, as you seek to make more concrete the profound ‘freeing’ healing that is moving through you.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Brigid Marlin

The Black and Turquoise Diary on the 24th August as Cardinal Earth Saturn trines Fixed Earth Uranus

No longer held in an asphyxiating vice grip, your chest loosened, the blood returning to your blanched face, your mind untwisting from the dizzying circular condemnation, your emotions steadying after washing through you like a tsunami, the air feels fresh, its molecules electric and enlivening, refreshing and revitalising your tired and weary sOul. The caul lifted from your eyes, the ‘demon’ that ensouled you with darkened thoughts, berating you for walking your path, casting doubt that you cannot live by lOve alone, agitating you with anxiety and fear, ensnaring you within its web of lies and deception, no longer feels so oppressive. Before you stands a willowy, sickly, weakening phantasm, its once seductive voice, sounding pathetically engineered, its black hole eyes no longer sucking the life force from you and its terrifying presence, laughable as it stands before you in its birthday suit, embarrassed by its lazy, feicless discipline. The smoke banished, the mirrors broken, you can see the truth before you. Free from those inner enemies, free from the insidious chatter, free from the choking ancestral ivy, free from abusive fear and the oppressive conditioning scripts imposed upon you from birth, you are free to liberate your sOul from many of the illusionary chains that have held you back. Within this clarifying and refreshing space, you are free to breathe, free to see, free to act, free to manifest. You have the strength to resist, the fortitude to overcome and the inspiration to be true to the person you are beneath the illusion of your body. Now that you are free, what will you create within this profoundly liberational energetic matrix? What will you birth that will ground itself through you and establish habits that will define your life, moving out from this time? You’ve broken through the noose. You are free. Now is the moment…

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Clare Dudeney

The Black Diary on the 21st August as Cardinal Earth Saturn trines Fixed Earth Uranus

Vision without either substance or a framework will never manifest. It will always remain lingering within your mind’s eye, taunting and jeering you, always just out of reach, ever hopeful and never real. It is the recipe for disappointment and disillusionment, bitterness and resentment as you live in the future, as opposed to the present and dream of what could be as opposed to what will be. Fortunately reliable and honest builders have been found, their tools ready and a good project manager is at hand to oversee the emerging structure to house your innovations.

This space reflects an ideal time to make constructive and lasting changes as experimentation and creative self-expression meets with patience and calmness. Any changes undertaking will not feel upsetting or erratic within this disciplined yet open space.

Are you, therefore, prepared to set aside time to draw up a plan to house your visions and innovations or would you prefer to remember only what you feel is important, letting the other ideas fade into the ethereal mists? It would be a pity to do that, since you are better able to ground your Muse and Genius in a manner that supports and assists you, as opposed to restricts or hinders you.

Andrew Smith © 2018

The Purple Diary on the 20th August as Fixed Water Jupiter trines Mutable Water Neptune

Yes, it has been emotionally intense; yes, it feels as if several life times of processing has moved through you in recent weeks; yes, you have gained such deep insight into those emotional scripts and patterns that feel as if they extend back through time within your ancestral line; yes, it has felt like a roller-coaster.

But, and there is a but, how deeply liberational it has felt; how profoundly insightful it has been; how openly in touch with what emotionally ‘feeds’ you have you become during this acutely medicinal time. Who you ‘know’ as being your family, has expanded; you’ve been able to deftly navigate around those profoundly tight emotional bonds that have guided and informed your reactions; you have felt a presence, a calmness, a guiding ‘force’ envelope you, sustaining and fortifying you as you have dived into levels of your sOul, opening your heart further to intimacy with yourself and discarded that and those who you’ve grown beyond. Yes, there have been dark moments; yes, you have felt guilt, anger and despair; yes, you have heard that devilish voice seduce and cajole you into familiar alcoves.

But, and again there is a but, something else has moved through you, uplifting and guiding you beyond the tried and tested, into a comfortable, yet not familiar path. And it has felt good. You have felt good, even if the road is uneven. Call it perspective; call it insight; call it healing; call it growth. Whatever it is, it feels profound; it feels as if your sOul is truly lightening itself from the labours of your clan, the weariness of your isolation and the physical pain and suffering of being human. Whatever it is, it is freeing and uplifting. Whatever it is, its energy is deeply cathartic and profoundly expansive, opening you up to ways of being that can only result from having spent time healing, healing and healing some more. This ‘presence’ will be around for some time, so breathe in, release out and may this moment be the time through which you feel open, connected and free from that which has bound you, from which you create an emotional reality that fortifies and strengthens the strangle hold that lOve and jOy would lOve to have on you.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Photograph by Merve Özaslan

The Orange Diary on the 19th August as Fixed Fire Mercury turns Direct

It’s funny to think that you can appear to be functioning so well, to be so reasonable and engage in daily rituals that enables others to sleep soundly, safe in the knowledge that the Sun will rise once again in the morning, when in fact your hunger and focus, your passion and spirit lie elsewhere. Utterly bored of anything mundane and trivial, barely interested in horizontal conversation, deeply immersed in a world alive with serendipity and prayer (focused thought), it has been increasingly apparent over this past five weeks, that you cannot live a life devoid of magic, drained of inspiration, greying with the banal. Drawing on your listening-imagination, you have truly heard the gentle voice within the heart of your life, a voice that is clearer, deeper and more relevant than that critical voice of anxiety, judgement and disappointment, a voice that creates from knowing and not from analysis or visualisation of some future utopia, a voice that comes from who you are and not from who you can become. That quiet voice may have been lost within the maelstrom of recent family and professional dramas, heightened emotional interactions, and the hunger to discover what ‘home’ truly means, but it is there. A constant beacon of light, shining true and clear, for those whose sight is seen by those who look out from the one and not two…

As you have been truly listened, planting that seed ten days ago, the enchanting veils of illusion that have become the standard bearer have been pierced. Reality as it was, is no longer. Squandering yourself on foods, people and situations that deplete your essence no longer feels apt, relevant or even meaningful as the hooks that bind you to those unkind situations have been released. Today, as clarity of your heart abounds; today, as your mind is filled with insight to move forward; today, as you can see what you have always known in your heart to be true; today, you can ‘feel’ past the pain of regret, you are landing with steady feet on the earth, a safe haven within this mental and heartfelt tumult. Be gentle, my friend, for there were no mistakes, just deep learning; be compassionate towards all that you have experienced, they were just that, experiences; be kind, because those agents are on their own path and may not realise what they have done; be thankful, as the emotional bonds that trap you are released; be jOyfilled as a new energy and passion awakens within you; and just be, as your mind turns out from in.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Photo art credit – unknown

The Gold Diary on the 12th August as the Fixed Fire Sun quincunxes Cardinal Earth Pluto

Can you feel it calling within you? A vOice in the distant, carried as an undertone beneath the cacophony of the twittering from those caught up with indignation, wanton gossip, complaints and key board warrior commentary? Can you feel it imploring you to look through the fear of lack; the illusion that abundance is in the future; the anxiety of control? Can you feel it envelope you as you move through deep personal and family drama, old scripts that those in your life have not truly addressed, seeing you through a sepia lens, stuck in a moment as they are, unable to move on? Can you feel it whisper to you that you are already whole and not damaged, that you know what lights up your sOul and that you can walk confidently, even if alone?

Can you feel it calling within you? I can. Just know that the steps you take are no easy road, but the reward is great if you follow the feeling, ignore the pleas of your egO, let gO and trust.

Your Light IS strong.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Photo art no Credit

The Venus Diaries on the 9th August as Evening Star Cardinal Air Venus squares Cardinal Earth Saturn as the Moon moves through her Balsamic phase

During a time when time has slipped; chaos feels normal; broken sleep has made it the world feel dreamlike; doubletalk is acceptable; and exasperation is commonplace, it is easy to forget that the Heart lights the way.

Riding high above the waning light of the masculine ego, the blue-white light of love shines brightly each and every evening, reminding you that lOve can overcome the blinding luminosity of the ego and can bridge between anyone and anything.

So my hope for you, for us during this time of the Balsamic Moon, is that you look with the One eye to see what the Two cannot; that you see through the diffuseness that masks an ever changing landscape; that you know in your heart that what binds you is being eroded and dissolved; that you are being called to look in and not out to find freedom and truth; that you stand resolute and firm to those ideals that bring you closer to lOve, even if it is easy to react from a place of fear and anger; and that you know that as you face the chaos, wholeness is eventually created. An opening into the stillness that lies beneath the chaos is there for you to embrace in the days leading up to the New Moon, wherein you can find a peace you may not think is possible and within which you can see what shimmers within this emotional storm and how that has become a legacy within your body. You are being given the opportunity to let what distracts and divides you cease as you can walk into this opening into the quiet that lies beneath this chaos where peace and wholeness co-exist and where you can truly bring into being your souls deeper wisdom.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Lilia D

The Red Diary on the 8th August as Retrograde Fixed Air Mars octiles Mutable Water Neptune

You know what you want, after all the dream has never left you.

You know where you need to be, as it too has been calling forever to you.

You also know what needs to happen to actualise your desires, as you can see everything within your central eye as clearly as the Sun on a clear day.

The challenge, however, is dealing with those sOuls in your life who claim they can support you; whose skills you do not possess yet you need to help you; and whose vision does not quite match yours, or worse again, could care less about what you are striving to achieve.

How frustrating is it to be within an arm’s reach of what you want but have to deal with people and circumstances that don’t quite get your urgency and continue to exist within a world without motivation and hunger. Yes, there is something to learn in it all, but until that penny drops, you have to contend with the virtue of patience!

Patience is the essence of spirituality, granting great strength. In Judaism there is a saying – ‘A patient man is better than a warrior’; in Buddhism, bodhisattvas train in this practice to become enlightened; both Christianity and Islam deem it a sacred virtue as patience is understood to endow you with faith in yourself and an illuminated capacity to deal with frustration and disappointments. Viewed through a purely materialistic lens, success means getting what you want when you want it. If you don’t, your impatience feels warranted. But from a spiritual standpoint, success means acquiring patience, feeling okay about yourself whether or not you get what you want.

Everything is about right attitude and knowing that your spiritual challenge is to transcend frustration may permit you to reframe and resolve the bruised feelings of being let down or derailed. Perhaps the real purpose of frustration isn’t just to frustrate you but to prompt you to align with your larger self? Perhaps the paradigm shift is to realise that disappointments aren’t necessarily failures or bad, after all the Dalai Lama believes, ‘When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.’ Of course, the lesson of surmounting frustrations takes considerable patience; but then that’s the point, isn’t it?!

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art credit unknown

The Red Diary on the 7th August as Retrograde Fixed Air Mars octiles Mutable Water Neptune and Mercury continues to move through his Yin retrograde phase in Fixed Fire

It can be hard to truly know what the right thing to do is, when you can clearly see the path way that someone you lOve is walking, when they themselves don’t truly appreciate, in the now, the decisions that they are making and where that path will take them. You know that if you speak out, it may be received as judgement; you know that if you don’t speak out, guilt will seize you; you know that if you take action in what you perceive as being support, you are potentially disempowering the other; you know that if you don’t take action, you could be blamed for being retrospectively unsupportive. You also know of the complexity of your own process and it is likely too that they also have a deeply complex inner process and therefore maybe this painful path is the only path available to them to truly learn. But should you not do or say something, from your own experience, knowing well the path they tread? Or should you just be there for them, should they ask for guidance and support? It is hard, disabling and frustrating. And yet it is what you are moving through – the desire to seek a higher support and action, a way of helping that comes from spirit and not from judgement ; that comes from altruism, concern and compassion, not from judgement, arrogance or interference. But you also know that you cannot truly help another, if they are not in a place to want that help. All you can do, therefore is hold the space around them. Hold them uppermost in your minds eye; ask for Uri-el to guide them towards clarity to see through their Veil and to Micha-el to cleave a way through the fog and ego, so that they can truly ‘see’ the path that they walk. It is a time to act, but not in a physical way. It is time to support, but quietly and invisibly. It is time to show compassion, even if that means keeping to your own path. Not easy. But that maybe what is appropriate.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Elisa S Amore – The Caress of Fate

The Orange Diary on the 6th August as the Fixed Fire Mercury quincunxes the Cardinal Earth Pluto

Fixed Fire Mercury trioctiles Cardinal Earth Pluto

Getting that balance between over thinking and simply being has not been easy of late, as an intense week of processing has engulfed you and a wee battle internally raged as you attempted to claim YOUR own consciousness from the subtle influences of those who claim they walk a similar path to you. The Word within you has been shiftingsteadily through this past year, but what has emerged of late is the stark reality of where you are on your path and where others in your immediate intimate circle are. It is ever so apparent that what holds your soul is no longer the same. Needing the time to find confidence in this “new” voice; needing time to deepen and gestate before you bring it to the world; needing time to sit in a quiet that is not permitted, so that you can ‘hear’ clearly, needing time in retreat; and needing your flexibility and patience as your WORD tries to reveal itself through the questioning that is coming at you from those around you.

The simple truth is that this WORD already has its own frequency. You’ve just been too stuck cling to vestiges of your egoic dreams to hear it clearly. All you need do is to hear with your heart and gut and not with your head.

Andrew Smith ©2018
Image credit – Pi Photography and Fine art – www.pipafineart.com

The Gold Diary on the 5th August as the Fixed Fire Sun squares the Fixed Water Jupiter

Overstretched? Too much on? Too many people pulling out of you? Conflicted by the paradox of the intense desire to put your head down and ‘lawn mower’ into your mountain of commitments whilst at the same time feeling the urge to fight for your freedom from those limitations? You want to feic it all but know you can’t as you would let yourself down and those you’ve committed your time and energy to. Yes, it feels overwhelming… it may even feel as if you cannot truly be true to who you are… it may also feel that you are being tested by those who you thought were on a similar path… you may even feel ‘what is the point’.

In truth, however, you are merely being tested to see how deep is your belief in yourself and whether you will remember to stay true to your path. The distractions only serve to show you what you need to leave behind, as your longing for peace, jOy and abundance is further awakened within those raw emotions. Remember that ever radiant quiet light that always shines within, a light that seeks only to illuminates true beauty and possibility, a steady beacon within a world gone mad, guiding you towards living a life only filled with lOve. There is only lOve at the end of the day. There is only lOve. Look down at your chest and see with your One eye that ever radiant Ray. Follow it. Trust it. It won’t let you down.

Andrew Smith © 2018
Image Credit – unknown

The Orange Diary on the 4th August as Retrograde Fixed Fire Mercury quincunxes Cardinal Earth Pluto
Words… don’t come easy… when you have so much processing… going on at so many different levels… simultaneously… you can feel what you want… to say… but… as you go to talk… words don’t seem adequate enough to… truly account for… all that is going on… yet you know… that if you don’t… a space will emerge that… in time may be hard to… breech… but how can you… really communicate the depth and complexity… of your heart and… spirit… you crave acknowledgement and understanding… but you know that that is your ego and so you… don’t want to speak from there… and so… you find discomfort in silence… a silence that hurts… a silence that is necessary to… overcome… a silence that needs to be broken by… your heart… and that is it… your mind is too complex for its… own good… your processing has been remarkable… so too your awareness of… your patterns and scripts… but you have been doing… too much alone… too much time spent within… sometimes it is okay… not to over-analyse… sometimes it is okay… to just let free those words that carry your spirit… don’t worry about the consequences… the work you have done will envelope and guide you… trust… open up within the silence… and speak forth from the depth of who you are… Words will then… come easily…
 
Andrew Smith © 2018
Image credit is unknown

The Red Diary on the 2nd August as Retrograde Fixed Air Mars squares Fixed Earth Uranus

How do you deal with things when they don’t go according to your internal vision?

When in the presence of unkind words and actions, how do you react?

Are you able to keep composed when the temperature rises and words or actions become heated?

Are you content with the way in which your physical energy flows through your system?

These are but three questions to reflect on as you seek to find an alternative way to distribute the fire rising within you.

If you notice a large number of circumstances happening to you it is likely that this process has become externalised, a clear indication that you may have missed the point. If you are feeling the energy rise and feel overwhelmed with the heat and passion, then this path has become highly personal and more internal than external.

As my offering of the 31st July referenced, if you experience frustration, then know that you are merely being called to raise the bar. To use a cliché, “each and every time life throws you a lemon, don’t just make lemonade, instead make the best lemon meringue ever (gluten and sucrose free, of course!)”.

Andrew Smith © 2018

https://www.andrewsmith.ie/the-red-diary-8/

Lughnasadh (pronounced Loo-na-sah) on the 1st August 2018

For those in the North

On this day, as the Sun starts its noticeable descent into the darkness of winter, you are afforded a space to rejoice in the harvest of the fruits that you sowed in spring. So as you break bread this evening and give thanks for the sustenance granted to you from the Earth, be mindful that the life force absorbed from your harvest has been created by the quality of the seed you planted back on the 1st February.

For those in the South

On this day, as you take in the warming rays of the Sun, as it starts to stretch towards the brightness of summer, be conscious that you are planting a seed that will be ready to harvest at the start of Autumn at Imbolc on the 1st February. What things or projects are you planting? What would you like to start anew? Plant with intent, knowing that the beams of the Sun will store their power within your hopes for the times coming.

Wherever you may reside, may this moment be the ground from which all your future actions and intentions manifest.

Andrew Smith

Image Credit – Golden Lion by Cathy McCelland

The Red Diary on the 31st July 2018 as Fixed Air Mars squares Fixed Earth Uranus

“Frustration is a sign I am acting independently. The more you try your own way, the tighter the doors will stay closed “an appropriate comment written by author Joyce Meyers that summarises once aspect of this heightened energetic state that is rising up through you. It feels as if, despite the clarity and conviction coursing through your veins, that either the timing is off or the world is conspiring to irk you! Things don’t seem to be going just as smoothly as you envisioned, as delay after distraction after blind alley after ignorance after broken promise after selfishness appears to be arising to test your equanimity. It is as if you are being tested to see how confident you are to go it alone, without the support of those whose ‘expertise’ you could use. Yet, you also feel not fully prepared and that you need support. But do you really? Do you truly need the commentary from those who don’t really understand the complex sOul weave that currently engages you as you seek to find an alternative path to channel your life force. No longer wishing to defend yourself, no longer desiring to debate or validity yourself, no longer needing to make a point, you are being called upon to acknowledge the irritation you feel and to find a way of accepting and integrating it, without entering into drama or an internal combative argument, draining and exhausting your energy, energy that could be better used for some more constructive purpose. So as you turn inwards and close the shutters from those who merely have opinions relevant to them, it is time to be both discerning and selective about who is advising you to take action.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Photo Art by Satyajit

https://www.andrewsmith.ie/the-red-diary-7/

The Venus Diaries on the 28th July as Evening Star Mutable Earth Venus trines Cardinal Earth Pluto

It is easy to forget how far you have travelled along this Heart-Path, when you have been caught up within other people’s dramas, swamped by the emotional pain of those who have not truly healed or when you yourself are within a deep heart-felt process. Yet do not forget that you are doing ever so well. You have taken the Path of Love seriously and have taken a step backwards from Reaction, asking yourself the question “what is it in this interaction that has me so highly charged?”. That has led you down so many shadowy routes, as you have been led inwards and past-wards to experiences you have had and seen the repetitiousness of scripts that have kept playing out, time and time and time again. No longer have you wanted to remain on that Wheel and even though there have been some deeply lonely times, when you have felt unreachable and misunderstood, you can see how deeply the medicine has healed when you observe the actions and reactions of so many around you this past week. That has been you. But that is no longer you. Your commitment to self-care, self-love and self-focus has not been narcissistic. It has been selfless and self-ful. You have been called upon to really know lOve and to walk with lOve, to be the living embodiment of lOve and to see it not as something to aspire to, or someone outside of you, or something outside of you. You have been called to know lOve and to be lOve. As jOy now walks consciously with you, look around and ‘see’ how far along this Path you now are – how much jOy you have created by being what you lOve; look at those you are drawing into your life; look at the choices that you are making that are creating jOy and lOve, more consciously and more purposefully. lOve transforms; lOve heals, and you are both transforming and healing.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Photo art by Marcy

The Orange and Venus Diaries as Fixed Fire Mercury stations retrograde as Mutable Earth Venus trioctiles Fixed Earth Uranus

During hectic times, when it feels difficult to take time to breathe, your emotional body heightened and feeling pressure cascading through you; your body’s nervous responses agitatedly reacting to all and sundry; and when your sOul is too jaded or preoccupied to discern, opting to re-bind itself to those leaden chains, it is so easy to misinterpret the words, perspective and intent of another. Was that truly a slight or put down, or is your vulnerable inner light feeling under scrutiny, assuming that others can transparently see within you and have taken the time to analyse the complexity of what you are moving through? Patience, a universally heralded virtue, longingly sought after, may feel truly hidden behind the darkened eclipse skies over both icy Polar caps along with its sisters Calmness and Perspective, but remains a quality that is desperately needed as you move through some ego affronting challenges concerning your heart-consciousness – what and who you love; how you maintain your independence whilst in intimate communion with another; how it is possible to remain connected whilst having differing perspectives; and how some of those values you have held where never yours to hold and need to be released – over the coming days. Jumping to conclusions or acting (reacting) out of impatience may not serve your higher-heart at the moment, but the insights into what agitates and frustrates you will offer you a keener insight into what needs to be healed as those deeply embedded untruths are revealed. Pause, slowly breathe in, reflect whilst slowly pausing, release whilst slowly breathing out. Repeat. It’s the only mantra needed until the 9th August.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image Credit – Stock images

https://www.andrewsmith.ie/the-orange-and-venus-diary/

The Gold Diary on the 25th July as the Fixed Fire (leo) Sun squares the Fixed Earth (aquarius) Uranus

Stored deep within our bodies are the memories of what we have lived through – the jOy, the pain, the exhaustion, the elation, the tension, the pleasure, the trauma and the comfort. The act of daily living requires us to get on with it and to move out from those experiences, but within our cells, those memories are retained, re-emerging as strong reactions to circumstances that bring us back in time to those experiences. Even if you have healed unkind experiences that you have lived through; even if you have talked through and deeply understood the necessity of those encounters that have helped to shape your sOul; even if you believe that you have gone on from your past, it still exists within you as a ‘muscle-memory’ imprint.

There are times when those memories arise so that they can be reviewed within the healing benefit of time, experience and perspective. There are other times when those memories arise so that you can ‘see’ whether you have truly moved on or whether you remain stuck in a moment. How do you know which is arising for you? The scale to which your body reacts to someone or something that ‘reminds’ you of the fruit you previously ate from a bitter tree. How you react will give you an experiential gauge of how deep the healing has gone, how you have integrated those experiences into your life and whether you are veering ‘off path’ by the intensity of those memories. During this day of truth, remember you are not your past, regardless of how it has shaped you. True freedom comes when you finally realise that you have not made a mistake, nothing in your life is out of place and every state of mind you experience – joy and wonder; despair and loneliness, is part of your path.

Tread consciously and confidently on YOUR path over the coming days.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Antoine Mansour

The Gold (and Venus) Diary on the 24th July as the Fixed Fire Sun trioctiles Neptune (still opposing Venus)

So even if you stand externally confident and together, even if you have some amazing opportunities for new growth and for your ego’s enticement, it is the development within you that are the key during the coming days, as you are compelled to internally question and search to answers as to why you feel no longer sure of yourself despite the work you have done to become someone. You are not necessarily who you have had to become. You are not merely the person that provides, works and earns. You are not your past, even if it has motivated you to move beyond what took place. You are more than that.

As your perception is hyper-attuned to the messages you are now receiving from those in your world (those addictions, escapist tendencies, delusions and deceptions), remember that most do not understand the complex inner world from which you are trying to simplify. The core of you is embedded within this web, a core that is immutable and unfathomable, even if you have had to compromise and make concessions within your external world in reaction to what has taken place. It is the quality of your core that is the focus of the coming Solar Month and even if you feel less whole and less defined than usual, it is a time that can yield amazing opportunity for strengthening and defining your core, as you gather yourself not to react, not to defend, not to berate and not to belittle yourself. There are times when the external world is merely giving you an opportunity to see through the distractions so that you do not compromise your integrity and you stay on your path. This is one of those times. Be as opposed to become.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image from Land of Bears by Guillaume Vincent

The Venus Diaries on the 23rd July as Mutable Earth Venus opposes Mutable Water Neptune, as Neptune also prepares to receive a trioctile from the Sun

Building over the past couple of days, quietly but steadily, has been the awareness of the quality of your heart; the true nature of your relationship scripts. Caught in the paradoxical dilemma of practising discernment but refraining from judgement, your heart may have felt confused. On one hand you can sense the latent potential, or intrinsic essence, of another and your desire to merge utterly with that object of your attention. Yet on the other hand, you have become increasingly conscious that not everyone wants to actualise their true potential, or to see you in a clear and lucid manner, let alone become whole with you! So acceptance pulls at the longing for fulfilment, just as the desire to physically slumber with another vies against your inalienable right for space! Caught, therefore, between this paradox, can awaken great creative tension, as you seek to find answers, but equally can create confusion as you seek an either/ or solution.

It might be useful to see this as a time of active awareness, as well as one of illumination of how truly unconditional your heart-essence has become. Disappointment may journey with you, so too disillusion, but that is only if your ego is invested in what you love and who you love or long for. Should you have reached a stage of your growth where you have no expectation of return and have no issue with letting go what needs to dissipate, it is more likely that your heart will remain centred and not deviate from its path towards heart-enlightenment. If you do experience unkind happenings, then you could see it as an opportunity to release patterns within you that have been overlooked by other more pressing psychological developments.

Andrew Smith © 2018

The Gold Diary on the 22nd July as the Sun climbs out of the River (Cardinal Water) and into the Inner Light Chamber (Fixed Fire)

Slowing, the River widens and thins, dissipating the current, making navigation so much easier. No longer focusing on keeping her head above the turbulence, the fear of drowning having passed, she can feel a calmness spread through her body, despite remaining aware of the throbbing, a gift left over from her violent brushes with those subaqueous rocks. Able to turn around for the first time in what feels like an eternity, she can see more clearly where she has come from. How did she survive? Maybe there was a guiding force that helped her meander through the rapids and the gushing torrent that washed through her with such force, compelling her to openly express every ounce of emotion in a raw and uncultured manner. Ahead she can finally see a change in landscape as the River calms and solid land is reachable. A feeling of relief spreads quietly through her, despite her heart still beating fast, as the Darkness that came from the South fades in the quiet Light that is rising over this new land in the East. Emerging from the water the Light, that neither demands workshop nor seeks to blind, envelopes her within an aura of gOld. Turning her face towards this gentle light, she feels its rays penetrate beneath her soaked skin, softly warming her, soothing her spirit as it spreads its light within, illuminating all that is within. Clarity brightens her mind and something tells her that distance will offer her more insight into the deeper meaning of the River. Ahead, however, are new pastures as she can see a path she feels compelled to traverse through fields of gOld.

Welcome to the time that serves to illuminate the quality of your Inner Light.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Jennifer Dolfen

https://www.andrewsmith.ie/the-gold-diary-5/

The Red Diary on the 21st July as Out of Bounds Retrograde Fixed Air Mars continues to conjoin the Lunar South Node

There is nothing wrong with withdrawing your focus from the world, turning it inwards and exploring the geography of the world within, despite the worried looks from friends who may incorrectly assume that something is wrong, or that you need time to heal. There is nothing wrong with channelling your libidinal energy into your Self, energising, impassioning and strengthening your sOul, instead of projecting it outward to conquer, connect and champion. There is nothing wrong with developing a relationship with anger, taking the time to understand its various guises – irritation, frustration, depression and steeliness – so that you can more readily recognise, and understand, it as it regularly shows up in the world around you.

Moreover, surely it is healthy to take the time to cultivate a relationship with this integral dimension of your sOul, harnessing its fecund pOwer, directing it towards clarity, conviction and clear boundaries instead of unleashing it in a chaotic whirlwind of reaction, combative defensiveness and cacophonous aggression? Maybe this is but one of the reasons that lies behind your lagging energy? Maybe this is why you’ve become increasingly sensitive towards crass, crude and uncouth behaviour? Maybe this lies behind your desire to retreat from the excessive demands of a fast paced world, only interested in what you can tangibly achieve? Maybe this is why you feel frustrated with those who don’t take time to read, integrate and process, consumed as they are with reaction and not breathing within a world that has demanded they splinter their time and fracture their energy? Maybe this is one of the messages of the retrograde Mars (26th June – 27th August), whose reflective passage signals a time to draw inwards your physical energy so that you gain clarity of mind and a better understanding of your relationship with assertion, boundaries and how you direct your physical energy. Maybe…

Andrew Smith ©2018

Image Credit – Pål Laukli

The Red Diary on the 19th July as Out of Bounds Retrograde Fixed Air Mars continues to conjoin the Lunar South Node

What a strange phenomenon to try to remain active within the world when your sOul’s chi has turned inwards, away from the busy distractions of a pragmatic world that demands your full attention, your interaction, your untiring energy and your constant living in the future. Maybe that is why you are feeling less than energised, despite your caring attention to eat, drink and live well as you battle with pushing on and forward, managing, organising and planning when all your Desire-Light wants to do is to explore and re-energise the inner landscape, to heal and transfigure those mental thought-forms that have been previously accepted but are no longer serving a ‘kind’ purpose and to spend time in that place within that has never been wounded, where sureness still resides and where there is a confidence and tranquillity in you. Is it possible that you can listen to the shift in your energy and follow it hOme? Is it possible to create a space in your external world to walk that Path? Is it possible to rediscover that place in your sOul that time, space or person can touch? That is truly up to you!

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image credit – unknown

Word in the Image by Rumi

The Black and Turquoise Diary on the 16th July as Saturn and Neptune quintile

Living your truth and walking your path without compromise and without seeking acknowledgement or recognition is not an easy thing to do when you reside in a world that seeks you to explain why you are the way you are, what you do and to show evidence of what you do. Moreover, should you not seek to build a life that produces something tangible, demonstrating the fruits of your labour, so that the System can breathe easy knowing that you are being productive in some manner, you can often feel ill at ease when you spend inordinate amounts of time within your inner world.

Yet, during this sacred space, none of that matters, as you are able to give expression to your inner understanding and inspiration, as you connect more closely with spirit and find a ground through which your multifaceted self can find expression. It is as if you are a living embodiment of belief and are capable of walking and talking your truth, without seeking approval or to justify who it is that you are. It is a beautiful invitation to further develop any form of spirituality that you have been drawn towards and to discipline your everyday routines with those soulful leanings.

“Sacred is the prayer that asks For nothing, oh
While seeking to give thanks for every breath we take, oh
Blessed are we inside this prayer
For in the new world, we will be there”

Prince – The Love We Make, Emancipation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNM5i2ADRME

Words by Andrew Smith, Lyrics by Prince Rogers Nelson

Image credit – no source

https://www.andrewsmith.ie/the-black-and-turquoise-diary/

The Orange Diary on the 16th July as Mercury continues to talk with Saturn and Pluto

This deeply intense and emotional time has numerous positive possibilities to delve into your mind as you are invited to profoundly explore the darker aspect of personal interaction and communication. As you seek to grow and awaken to a more conscious existence, banal and ordinary conversation just won’t cut it. But that is not to say that those who come into your world get the multi-dimensional world that you are living within. Perhaps this will be about learning the art of discernment and patience as you need to register when to switch off and just be ordinary and when it can dive so deeply into subject matter that have “anoraks” around the world rejoicing!; subject matter that also requires concentration, focus and emotional intelligence to look within at damaged scripts and patterns from your past. It is well and good that you have access to is utterly transformative and profound, but don’t forget that you live in a dumbed down world, unable to concentrate, that has lost the art of in-person communication, is too busy and stressed out to take stock and contemplate, that has not been educated on how to deal effectively with the interior world, and does not know how to act around those who are in the process of true healing. So you may have to put up with jibes over your detective eyes. After all, “how are you” can never truly be answered with “fine”, can’t it!! So as your mind slows and breathing deepens, the necessity to take stock, to edit, review and revise rises within you, as you are being called upon to examine the quality of your way of thinking/ writing/ talking and learning so that you can adapt to those whose wave length differs.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image from Pink Floyd

The Orange Diary on the 15th July as Fixed Fire Mercury trioctiles Cardinal Earth Saturn and quincunxes Cardinal Earth Pluto

No longer willing to dance to the song of another, too often have you relied on approval or reassurances, you can feel the pull away from those you love as you seek space to breathe, to contemplate, to reassess.  It has been taxing and demanding of your mental energies as you have had to defend yourself against those who choose not to hear, so lost to their own pride, too stuck within a physical and material definition of life. Spirit calls, whispering in your dreams, exhausting your body and mind, beckoning you to take time and to dive a little more inward so that you can better understand the way that you have given away your power. Will you, however, listen to those gentle omens or will you continue to react through busyness, tiring further your sOul, resisting the journey within as one of being self-consumed, when in fact it is self-necessary? The enemies of your mind are being revealed within those ego-driven dramas, but their roots lie deep in your ancestral scripts. So as the path descends ahead of the 9th August ascent, a space has opened up to understand the difference between true confidence and a show of confidence… Mental stillness is now necessary. But will you accept it?

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image credit – none (multiple credited sources)

The Venus Diaries on the 14th July as Venus trines Saturn

Even as the intensity of this time continues to open you up, heightening your reactions within an unrelenting and eddying tide of emotions, there are moments of calmness and serenity, wherein you can clamber onto an outcrop and feel the solid security of something constant and immovable. From that haven, you can breathe more easily and can look around you at the cacophonous maelstrom and release just how much you have healed and how much you have really trusted and listened to your heart, as opposed to that devilish trickster mind of yours! Within this protected and guided space, your heart-vision is so much clearer, as it continues to send out a beacon of light. That light shines regardless of the weather and can been seen by those without sight, who feel and who resonate at a similar frequency to you. Yes, you may ‘discover’ that some don’t ‘feel’ and therefore are lost within the chaos; yes, you may feel that you have to let go to the storm those circumstances that were never truly in your heart; yes, you may have to make hard decisions to re-enter the turbulence for a while as you sort out other scripts, patterns and legacies, but at least from this place you can feel that you have journeyed long and hard; that you have done some amazing work on yourself; and that you are feeling much more centred and confident in those hard, hard heart-choices that you have had to make. The past has revisited you, but you are no longer your past. As you see the person you were in the eyes of your past, you can feel how far you have moved on and that you no longer need those who undervalue or take you for granted.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image credit – Stock Images

https://www.andrewsmith.ie/the-venus-diaries-12/

The Venus Diaries on the 10th July as Venus Ingresses into Virgo

As your heart slowly moves through this maturing time, what you truly value is brought to the fore of your spiritual development and lessons of judgement and discernment rise more powerfully for you to deal with. Listening to your gut, without judgement has never been more important, as your ego struggles with learning the difference between reaction and reflection. Are you offering an opinion when one is not sought or are you merely using an emotionally intelligence assessment, based on whether what you read, hear, or experience resonates for you, is a question that is foremost in your awareness over the coming month.

Andrew Smith ©2018

The Pyramid Diary on the 7th and 8th July within a Grand Water Trine from the Sun to the Jupiter-Neptune Trine

Yes, it is and will continue to be emotionally intense. Yes, those ancient scripts, many of which are ancestral, have resurfaced. Yes, it feels chaotic and overwhelming. Yes, it feels profoundly freeing. But no matter where you are on your Path; no matter how dark the very moment of emotional drama may feel; no matter how able you are to contain those passionate, emotive inner feelings that you may never truly follow through on, there is much healing taking place. There is so much insight happening. There is such a profound quickening of your emotional sOul occurring at the moment. Those dreams you are having – are they truly dreams? Those signs you keep noticing – are you truly listening and taking heed? Those random comments you are overhearing, those vignettes that relate directly to your situation – are you breathing them in and embodying them? Those prayers that you utter, as you silently get on with the practicalities of life – they are being heard, as they are coming from your heart and not egO or mind. This time is profound. Intense, yes; but profound. It is all about the Three, if you can truly draw it into your sOul, as you walk within this healing matrix.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image Credit – Stock images

The Red Diary on the 6th July as Mars conjoins the South Node in Fixed Air
As the light dims on this descending path, it feels as if you are retracing steps already made. Memories of actions taken, interactions experiences, conversations had, exchanges shared fleet through your mind as you revisit and review what has previously befallen you. Frustration, that silent companion, whispers an alternative, more confrontational, scenario that could have taken place, if your ability for repartee was more established. And within those heroic re-envisions, you have said more clearly, more concisely, more consciously, what should have been said. Ah the heart-warming satisfaction that spreads with the adrenaline that has raised your heart beat as you walk through a differing door and onto an alternative path…
 
But that is not what took place…
 
And all you can do is review what it is that you learnt, truly learnt. Did you make a mistake? Could you have acted differently? Could you have said something more conscious and affirming so that the intense anguish you carry lessens?
 
Probably not!
 
Mistakes are not possible after all sometimes you grow unexpectedly as your sOul journeys to a place that you would have otherwise avoided. Awareness and mindfulness have fostered forgiveness and acceptance, deepening your sOul and liberating it from callous ancient scripts that have lain invisibly within.
 
And now as you feel as if you are retracing your steps, you are offered the opportunity to revisit unkindness, with a more conscious, less reactive mind, so that you can clearly define boundaries that hither-to-before were diffuse and uncertain. In time this path will lead you from the exile of hurt towards the light of jOy of inner peace. In time. But for now, the path descends and it is necessary to retrace and revisit…
 
Tread consciously and carefully my friend.
 
A©2018

The Gold Diary on the 5th July as the Cardinal Water Sun trines the Fixed Water Jupiter

It is not always easy to be true to yourself, to stand firm with your conviction and to radiate your true essential being. It is easy to confuse ego with confidence. But they are not the same. Have you ever been in the presence of someone who is so utterly self-contained and comfortable in their own skin, who does not need to impose themselves on their environment and who simply radiates presence and being that they are unmissable? They may not be the loudest person in the room, or the most flamboyant. They are simply themselves – quiet, unassuming and confident. That is the person you can be during this time, as you are graced with the opportunity to show yourself, your true self, your Light-being, your core. It does not mean that you are performing. It does not mean that you have to have your podium. But everything that you are doing is infused with your radiance and essence. And it is unmistakable.

A©2018

The Red Diary on the 4th July as Retrograde Fixed Air Mars continues to conjoin the Lunar South Node

Ancient scripts surfacing, irritating your ego as once again you tread gingerly over ground already covered. I thought I’d learnt; I thought I had healed; I thought I’d moved on; I thought I’d grown, are noisy voices that echo loudly, drowning out the reality that you are merely being tested to see how deep the medicine has rooted and how integrated the healing was received. Acknowledging and honouring those deeply familiar patterns; reflecting on how you have previously defined your boundaries; and asking yourself whether you are truly reacting in a self-similar manner, may stem the rising red tide. But as the Wheel turns, the landscape feels so familiar, your head could drop, your shoulder wilt, your eyes could dim, your mind dull, and history could repeat itself…

But will you turn away from what feels so familiar, choosing to honour the work you have done as you have invested so much sOul energy in self-care, self-lOve and self-respect by defining your boundaries and not accepting selfish, inconsiderate, petty and narcissistic behaviour or will you keep yourself chained to the merry-go-round, allowing deep seated frustration commodore your mind, infusing un-necessary heat in your words, sharpening your tone and heightening your reactions?

Andrew Smith © 2018

Photo by Soren Udby

The In-between Diary on the 27th June as Chiron quintiles Pluto

It’s a funny old place, this Earth plane. It feels solid, and yet… It feels like the laws of physics operate, and yet… It feels as if you have to toil and labour, and yet… It feels like you are alone, and yet… If feels as if only those in the know strive, and yet… It feels at times heavy, dense and harsh, and yet… Is it? Gently, softly, dreams that have no basis within this space and time float through your mind’s eye, opening your awareness to a Field of knowledge that has no limits and has not been structures, doctored or owned by any person or institution. Free from prejudice, that information can be liberational, so long as you do not try to own it but imprinting your ego on it, a tall order given that the entire world you currently live within is based on ownership, the desire for recognition and the desperate hunger for immortality as you have been encouraged to put your imprint on the world for all of eternity!

Is it from the future or are you glimpsing a more ideal future or are you simply connecting with the ideals that underpin this realm of reality – it is hard to know, since the energetic field you are moving through is very subtle and has an intent on activating your sight without the need for eyes. Dreams prevail but there is something different to their quality. They are not manic, filled with distorted images of your daily life, hazy and confused. There is a lucid quality to what you are experiencing within your nocturnal life, exciting your soul and giving you an understanding of what it would be like to stay connected to your dreams as you live your Truth. The infinitely impossible is possible and your sense of unity and oneness is accentuated, giving you an insight into how you as an individual, and we as a collective, can find freedom, away from the indoctrination of science, economics, money and religion.

The truth is not distorted here, but rather a distortion is used to get at truth.

Andrew Smith © 2018

The Gold Diary on the 26th June as the Sun opposes Saturn

It is as if the hand of Fate has stretched out from the gOd’s themselves, as your Light feels as if being tested by a series of external agencies, as everything feels as if it is on slow reel time. Within this ‘slow-mo’ state, a tinge of pride flushes your cheeks as you deftly and maturely measure your reactions to the confining pressure amassing from the actions and inactions of those in your life. You have grown so much in terms of self-confidence and self-belief. Yet you can feel a slight hesitation and self-doubt creep in as wave after wave of feedback arrives from your world, simultaneously mirroring and confronting you, in an attempt to ‘help’ you more clearly see the person you are becoming. Whether you interpret this questioning as a confrontation or a chance to clearly define who you are, despite the attempts to fit you into someone else’s definition of you, depends on the level of awareness you have of your masculine ego.

EI© 2018

The Venus Diary on the 25th June as Venus squares Jupiter

Flowers never push themselves to grow in a certain look, yet their existence already radiates beauty. Dandelions never envy the rose, or a grass tries to be a tree. Nature is diverse and unique. You are you, with your uniqueness. Don’t be afraid to compose your own tune and dance with it.

EI

The gOld and Orange Diary on the 23rd June as the Cardinal Water Sun sextiles Fixed Earth Uranus and Mercury opposes Pluto
Swirling, spiralling, gyrating, splaying, the energetics may feel heightened, the earth loosening in its wake, the earth trembling beneath the tornado, but in its wake, clarity is found – clarity that has always been there, just hidden beneath layers of carefully constructed padding, a well justified protective argument whose origins arise from the inability to take personal responsibility for the Path that is being walked. You should not be surprised, or disturbed, by the revelations of a masculine ego, lost to itself and creating hurt in its wake, since you have been observing that for some time. The battle within you concerning keeping the connection alive or removing yourself is a battle that your sensitive and compassionate sOul knows all too well – after all you can see the truth of the inner being and can see its glorious possibilities, even if the masculine ego has been causing devastation. You know that you can help; you know that you can guide and support; you know that your lOve can activate, heal and transform. But can they truly ‘hear’ you at this time or do you need to remove yourself from their immediate energetic field and lOve from afar? Your heart says yes, but your mind wages a war stating that true lOve, lOves no matter what and that it is time when a sOul is in pain that you have to step up and show up.
 
But you are only able for so much.
 
Remember that you can still be compassionate for the stone revealed within the heart of those you love from afar, as you hold a space for them that in time, lOve will prevail. However compassion does not enable ‘bad’ behaviour, nor does it collude with unkindness and abuse, even in the name of love.
 
Compassion can be tough at times, when you hold up a mirror, without intent to hurt or harm, but merely to show back the deep truths revealed in the words spoken, actions undertaken and the intent that lies deep within. That mirror has been held up and the work you have done on your esteem and worth has led you to the brink of knowing the difference between discernment and judgement, even if your heart wants to be there through thick and thin. Distancing can offer perspective; distancing is not necessarily cold or shutting down, if you continue to lOve. But as crazy as the energy has been this past week and as intense as it will continue in the days to come, you should not be surprised at the revelations. That truth has always been there. Just carefully hidden and has been exposed by the light of lOve. The opportunity to heal; the opportunity to understand the pain of another and the opportunity to ‘see’ how authentic those in your life are to the truth they ‘speak’ of, is crystal clear. Will you accept it or continue to collude or enable… not an easy choice, but one on offer.
 
EI© 2018
Tattoo design – unknown
The Venus Diaries on the 22nd June 2018 as Venus and Mars oppose
She has longed to hear Him talk; he has longed to see Her dance. She has longed to understand the depth of his inner world, what makes him tick, what he has withheld from the world, what he truly thinks about; he has hoped to see her confidently seize the moment, standing firm in what she believes and be moved by conviction, purpose and passion. She wants to look deep into his sOul and to feel his presence – that he IS present; he wants to be reminded that he is the centre of her world and that everyone else fades to grey… and so they sit on opposite ends of the dining table, quietly, each hoping the other can read the signs and take the initiative, staring coyly, yet tentatively, at each other and then onto their plates. Weary from the travelling endless divergent roads, finally only five feet separates them and a chance to work it out. She hears his voice of reason, he hears her heart. If they are honest, they know that they cannot live together but also that they cannot live apart. It’s the eternal dilemma between the head and the heart, a dizzyingly conundrum that has arisen so profoundly in recent days – listen to reason or listen to embodied feelings.
 
However it does not have to be either/ or…
 
Both can live together. Both can dance and talk; experience and understand; reason and intuit; plan and be spontaneous… They just need to accept that they ‘see’ the world through differing lenses. Acceptance is the first step to acknowledgement that in turns leads to healing and then integration. Neither one has the priority over being right; equally, neither is wrong! They are incomplete without each other. But have you found the balance between both in recent days, or have you fallen foul of the millennia bias towards the head?
 
Andrew Smith © 2018
Art by Christian Schloe

The 21st June 2018 – The Turning of the Seasons as the Sun Ingresses into tropical Cardinal Water, or Cancer, at 11:07am BST

Today the seasons turn and the abundance of light is shifts. This is most evident if you live far from the equator, north or south. In the south, the weakened light rests before its steady climb high above the southern landscapes; in the north, the light stretches well into the early hours of the morning before it descends towards its rest in December. The day of turning gives rise to a day of reflection, as a space opens up within your consciousness to pause and consider the quality, strength and quantity of your own light.

Today the Sun moves across the threshold of the “Gateway of Incarnation” into the tropical sign of Cardinal Water, or Cancer,, a necessary portal in your overall spiritual development. It is within this watery dominion that you are lifted up out from the dominance of your mind and are ‘encouraged’ to start exploring the quality of your emotional intelligence, your empathy, your sensitivity and your active intuitive awareness.

Perhaps you could take a moment to reflect on how open your heart is and the quality to which you are able to deeply connect with those in your life. Know that over this coming month you are afforded the time to renew all emotional connections that permeate your life, should you consciously choose to invest your emotional attention in them. May this moment be the time from which all your future emotional actions and intentions find manifestation.

Happy Solstice

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image Credit – The Midnight Sun by Anda Bereczky

The Venus Diaries on the 20th June as Venus continues to approach her opposition to Mars during the Uranus-Neptune octile

Within this limbic space as the Veil thins, the fabric of what is ‘real’ is being dissolved, and truth is seeping out from within well-constructed protective walls, remember that discernment is not judgement. It may look like that from the without, but it is not. Yes, each sOul has multiple scripts and patterns that need addressing, healing and integration. Yes, each sOul has an ability to raise their awareness and manifest their scripts from a more conscious perspective. But not everyone will choose to do that. Some will choose, despite the support they receive, to continue to perpetuate their addiction to pain and suffering; to greed and vanity; to power and pride; and to anger and revenge. Some people will continue to talk up an incredible life but live an entirely different one; some will also appear to believe in great spiritual truths but when it comes down to it, their Shadow has them enslaved and they don’t live from those truths when they deal with those they love.

And as the mirror is being placed in right in front of you and of us, the tension between the life that is valued and the life that is lived is striking. This could be upsetting if you continue to cling to the notion that beneath the pain lurks someone who is a nice person, just lost. But now is the time to ask, have you been here before; have you been shown this truth before; and are you perpetuating Einstein’s definition of insanity?!!

It is not judgement of another if you need to pull back from those of a differing consciousness (not value system); it is not judgement if you decide that your worth and esteem is being continually pummelled by self-similar situations, even if you are doing the ‘work’. Sometimes discernment means understanding the lesson you need to integrate, seeing how the external world has provided you with a mirror to reflect back at you that lesson and then making conscious choices to continue with, or step away from, those people who arose to ‘help’ you learn.

Awareness or confrontation; discernment or judgement are the keys to the coming days, as your values are tested and you are being prompted to make a decisive decision as to move on from, or to continue to move on with, those who no longer resonate at the same level as you.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Photo no source found

The Venus Diaries on the 19th June as Fixed Fire Venus quincunxes Cardinal Earth Saturn

There will be times when you will feel from time to time vulnerable, alone and overwhelmed, even if you are surrounded by those you lOve; you will encounter many a trial and tribulation; you may even feel at times lost and that the flame in your heart weakens; you will feel frustrated and unworthy, tired and forlorn. But know that you have something inside you that is of value – something unique. You have the heart of a lion – courageous, majestic, dignified and yet, wild and untethered. As you face many emotional distractions, distractions whose purpose is to keep you from being true to you, stand firm; walk confidently and let what is guide you. Let every time you step onto the Earth have meaning because you are leaving your mark, even if you feel that you are cloaked in darkened cloth. Your inner flame is ever lasting.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Ciro Marchett

The Venus Diaries on the 17th June as Venus opposes Mars

As she continues her climb towards her throne, head raised, ever seeking to embody and live her inner wisdom, hard born from experience – both painful and joyous, an awareness has been building regarding a spilt within her heart. A voice has been compelling her to get on with it, to vigorously move on from those no longer aligned, to speak out and speak forth her truth, to live vibrantly and carefree and to focus herself on what she wants to do. Yet, a softer, more compassionate, voice whispers you already are all you need; you already ‘do’ what you lOve; you do not need to assert or impose, define or re-define your worth or value, since your value cannot be materially quantified. The dichotomy has become ever present within her outer world, as confrontation has been building for some time with those who talk a good game but don’t truly believe, live or play in alignment with living what they say they value, prevails.

Drawing inwards her focus, she knows that the external ‘conflict’ only exists if it still resides within. Giving thanks for the reminder that a gap still exists between her feminine and masculine heart, the next stage of the healing journey continues as she transmutes confrontation to illumination.

What choice will your heart make in the days to come- illumination or confrontation?

Andrew Smith © 2018

The Neon and Turquoise Diary on the 16th June as Uranus and Neptune Octile

Senses enlivened, through the spin you see clearly the distractions that bind souls to a way of being that is designed to prevent your awakening; to stop you purely connecting to a deeper meaning; to keep you chained to this reality, closing you off from the holographic multiverse that you/ we live within. Insights abound as the scale of society’s comatosed behaviour is revealed and you can see the filament threads ensorcelling the hearts and minds of those devouring the blue pill. Painful to witness and disheartening, your focus is jarred by the transparency of those insights and the sickly feeling of seeing the life force and creative spirit being sucked from humanity. What can you do? After all you are but one person. Will you sit in similar consort, rejoicing in apathy’s walk over? Or will you focus on healing the filaments that continue to bind you to this world, freeing yourself fully and showing the way for others to join you?

Andrew Smith ©2018

Art by Lady Amarius

The Venus Diaries on the 15th June as Venus trioctiles Neptune and squares Uranus

Your heart aroused, sensitivities elevated, wistful dreams float around you, longing and desire once again attempt to gain a foothold in your life, experience has taught you not to trust life seen through rose tinted glasses, yet you do; YOU DO! A gap exists between intention and reality, your soul and ego, and disappointment eagerly anticipates purchasing a property within this fertile space. What can be done? After all you have been living in accord to what you believe to be true and have attempted to cultivate a heart centered reality. Or have you? Within this paradoxically euphoric and despondent oscillation, your values are being tested, so that you can cleanse and purify those unrealistic notions that need journey with you no longer as you face the reality of how you experience lOve (creatively, personally, romantically and professionally).

Andrew Smith © 2018

Photography by Woody Gooch

The Neon and Turquoise Diary on the 14th June as Uranus and Neptune octile within the Sun trioctile Mars

Deeply hidden within the language that you use, Belief goes about its daily business discreetly away from the glaring light. Whispering constantly in your ear, the language of the patriarchy has guided and informed your thought process, without question, without challenge; diving your attention into two; creating the necessity to see things as being good or bad; ever eagerly encouraging a bias towards the Yang when you ask – how are you doing, as opposed to how are you feeling; eagerly projecting your mind forward to achieve to accomplish, to produce and materialise; preferring the simplicity of reason to the complexity of understanding.

And so as the fabric of the matrix dissolves and those palisade walls that protect reality as it has been crumble, your mind struggles to try to accept that this is neither good nor bad but just is; as intense emotions are released, no longer contained snuggly within a beautifully manicured façade, your ego grapples with how will that look to those in your world if you show raw, truthful vulnerability; and as everything that you thought was your path, dissipates, you grapple with the notion that you may have done nothing wrong and the path you are walking may indeed be the correct one.

Arising out from the seed planted in 1993, the veil has thinned and the limitations of the dualism delusion are being exposed. Therefore there is no point trying to frame things within an ageing paradigm, as it will only serve to further confuse and frustrate your soul. Why not, therefore, breathe into what is emerging for you, without seeking to control the outcome; without trying to ‘see’ what is happening as being either ‘good’ or ‘bad’; without thinking you can become someone; without longing to be abundant/ successful or fulfilled. You are not broken. You never were. You are you. You are complex and contain within you many differing consciousness, each with their own scripts and patterns; each with their own realities and personalities; each with their own purposes and perspectives. As the matrix dissolves, those multiple realities are freed to express themselves, the apparent chaos is merely only chaos when seen from within the limitations of a masculine binary philosophy as opposed to it being something to celebrate as the complexity of your multidimensional sOul is liberated.

Andrew Smith © 2018
Art by Daniel Taylor

The New Moon Diary on the 13th June as the Moon News in Mutable Air and Fixed Earth Uranus and Mutable Water Neptune octile

Maybe it is because of the massive awakening of the Inner Embodied Feminine drawing attention to the intelligence of Nature and the language of the Earth; maybe it is because of the movement towards drawing forth much internalised mental anxiety and tension; maybe it is because of the tremendous healing that is arising within the feminine, that is encouraging you to find a language to bring light to the inner world; maybe it is because the way in which power is distributed is being fundamentally questioned ahead of the 12th January 2020; maybe it is because of the absence of meaning and spirituality has created a meaningless abyss that death cannot even satisfy, but whatever the reason, it has been hard, of late, to remain neutral, given the massive surge of emotion that has been released, much of it passionate and at times aggressive. Deep scripts, many long forgotten; old frustrations; long held pain; held in anxieties have resurfaced in an attempt to free your sOul from that which binds you to your past, chaining you to a moment in time that has imprisoned you within a marble statue.

And yet, can you talk openly with someone about it?

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art work from CD sleeve of Electro Synthetic Rebellion – Machines of Destruction (2017)

The Red Diary on the 10th June 2018 as Mars conjoins the South Node

Old paradigms yet differing consciousness, the systems within our world are struggling to come to terms with the fact that it is simply not working. The divide and conquer; distract and subdue; increase pressure and exhaust; produce poorly and charge the earth; the behind the scenes boys club attitude; the pyramidal hierarchy heralds from an era of terror/ ignorance of the feminine by a penial size obsessed masculine which is just not cutting it anymore.

Yet the attempt to maintain the status quo is merely held within the highest floors of those massive phallic towers whilst on the ground a quiet revolution is taking place and kindness, consideration, compassion and acceptance silently spread, uprooting those darkened roots that were planted aeons ago. Realising that the walls built are too thick to break down, a new plan is afoot. Healing the within, will heal the without. That is the mantra.

As your energy has been internalised, focusing inwards and downwards this has had consequences as you have been awash with exhaustion when dealing with the external world. Pulling away from lovers, friends, colleagues, the pursuit of money for the sake of it and the focus on quality, jOy and lOve, your energy has stepped back in time to acknowledge and heal your past, your relationships, your pain, your regret and to free your mind from those circular scripts that you have perpetually orbited around. But you are finally focused on health and happiness at ALL levels and you are exploring the roots of your physical issues within your emotional, mental and spiritual life, deep in the awareness that the world that you live in is a mirror of you. As you heal and gain health and happiness, so too does the world you live in. And in time, those penial structures that are merely token reminders of an old, less conscious, more fear based world, will dissolve and the New Earth will more consciously emerge.

So embrace the external tiredness and journey inwards, travelling back in time to those unkind experiences and feelings that no longer serve you, confident in the knowledge that what you heal within, will help us also heal and will heal the without.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Sharon Burford

The Red Diary on the 9th June as Fixed Air Mars conjoins the South Node

Rising from within the Red Deep have been the foot soldiers of passion; the warriors of justice; the champions of truth; the heroines of the frontiers. Freedom is what they seek – the freedom to speak forth against those injustices and unkind experiences that have occurred in your past; those bifurcation moments that have defined your Path, but have been silently internalised as it was previously unsafe to speak up and speak out. Those warriors have been scaling the Wall erected to keep you at bay yet no longer can you keep quiet, as the tension of living in two differing worlds – the past and the Now, meet head on, as you feel the call to bring to light that which stands as an elephant in the room, civilly ignored by those who are uncomfortable with living honesty, openly and truthfully. Why now? No longer can you let Anxiety and Pain dictate to you. No longer can you live splintered and half a life. And so, as those warriors seek to help you absolve you from the path of familiarity, the path of Intention lies a beckoning. It is a path that you can choose, but you have to let go the anger, the frustration, the pain and the resentment.

Andrew Smith © 2018

 The Venus Diaries on the 6th June as Cardinal Water Venus opposes Cardinal Earth Pluto and Mercury conjoins the Sun in Mutable Air

How deep is your lOve?

It is easy to love and lOve during the calm; it is easy to express joy and jOy in the good times; it is easy to give and give again. But can you receive; are you able to stay the path of lOve during those crazy, intense moments when your path descends, the colour fades and the light dims? Is the lOve within bright enough to continue to shine when the ground beneath your feet becomes uneven? Can you still find your vOice to air what your heart feels, even when those feelings are un-sanitised, raw and deeply felt?

In a time when so many challenges are being faced concerning love, relationships, quality, fairness, purpose, belief and justice; when you feel you are carrying values that are alien to those in your world; when you feelings are coloured by shades other than the bias towards those bright and shiny, remember that darkness absorbs everything, as form dissolves and identity falls away and despite the festered of thorns, your tears that cascade over your wounds, will wash away your hurt and in time will free your heart from those ancestral scripts, cultural legacies and personal patterns that puppeteer and colonise you.

Remember that you are never alone and that the pain you feel has purpose if you can accept it and in time look beyond it to what it is teaching you – as your love transmutes to lOve, compassion metamorphoses into cOmpassion, and the grace of transfiguration heals your wOunds.

What you are moving through will, in time, pass. But please talk openly, as we all descend and ascend; we all hurt and heal; and the pain you feel, your confidence to confront it can help others to similarly walk over ginger ground.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Artist unknown

The Venus Diaries on the 4th June as Cardinal Water Venus continues to apply into opposition to Cardinal Earth Pluto

Through the barrage of challenges that you have had to confront concerning your worth, esteem, respect and dignity, may your heart continue to awaken confidently to the full power of the feminine that exists within you; may you trust yourself fully and completely, responding only as necessary and seldom in reaction; may you trust that what you have processed and healed, has been processed and healed and does not need to be carried in the way that you have previously carried; may you continue to hold steadfast to the Path of Beauty and Stillness, when distraction threatens to captivate your attention; and beyond all else, may you realise that lOve is not out there, but exists within, since you are the lOve you are seeking.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Jeffrey Smith, Liberty of soul

https://www.andrewsmith.ie/the-venus-diaries-3/

The Venus Diaries on the 3rd June as Cardinal Water Venus prepares to oppose Cardinal Earth Pluto

‘To live in this world, Little Spirit, you must be able to love what is mortal, accepting it as it is, yet steadfastly treasuring it in your heart, whilst all the time knowing that there will come a time when you will be called to let go. It may feel unfair, unjust and painful. But let go you must. After all this world is transient and everything and everyone has its time. But letting go does not mean forgetting; letting go does not mean that love is fleeting; letting go is never flippant. But letting go means that you are not to remain attached. If you remain attached, you become transfixed and anchored to a memory in time. However, if you let go the attachment to the identity you have built around that love, you will truly understand what love has offered you and in time love will become lOve and you will grOw as opposed to grow, the path that your sOul truly needs.’

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image from multiple uncredited sources

The Venus Diaries on the 2nd June as Cardinal Water Venus trines Mutable Water Neptune

Listening to the media you would be forgiven if you felt the world was crumbling; that unconsciousness prevails; that ignorance is the currency; and that fear, pain and suffering were engulfing us within their blackened grip. And yet, what is essential is invisible to the eye; what is important can only be seen with the heart; and what matters does not make good stories to an industry addicted to negativity.

People are essentially kind and lOving. Yes, anxiety may distract you; pain may numb you; the pursuit of money may colonise you; the fear of ‘getting’ it wrong may disarm you. But there is always someone there to help. There is always someone there to support and listen. In the darkest times, people always step up, reach out and show up. It may only happen in moments, but they do. You do. Even if their own pain screams like a screech owl, they put down their own beds and walk strong and firm in silent support. Why? Because we all understand that lOve is the only currency that matters. Even if the faceless greed and blind ignorance of industry sucks the life from the Earth, people will always find a way, community will flourish and kindness quietly tiptoes through the noise.

Just remember, what matters is invisible to sight. It is felt and experienced, not viewed or recorded.

Andrew Smith © 2018
Image credit – https://machiavellicro.deviantart.com/…/He-Is-Here-II-28796…
Lyrics by Tracy Chapman

https://www.andrewsmith.ie/the-venus-diaries/

The Venus Diaries on the 1st June as Cardinal Water Venus trines Fixed Water Jupiter

Why so open Little Spirit? Why do you risk being vulnerable?

I wear my heart on my sleeve because it is too painful to carry it inside my chest. I need the freedom to feel it beat in concert with the Universe. That way, I feel more alive and though I feel pain and sorrow from time to time, especially when I experience and witness unkindness, I would rather deal with their pain and process than to put it back in its cage where it knows nothing else but the rhythm of my body and my ego. My heart was never intended to be the child of my ego. My heart was meant to experience my Soul and to bathe in the healing light of lOve. My heart is all I have and lOve is what I seek. To live within a protected state, stops me from experiencing lOve and so I lOve and lOve again.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Giclée by Orma

https://www.etsy.com/listing/176736442/art-print-breakthrough-16×20-framed?utm_source=OpenGraph&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_campaign=Share

The Venus Diaries on the 30th May as Venus quintiles Uranus

Life is creative, a great experiment, so thinking otherwise may well become a set-up for perpetual frustration! Now is not the time to retreat into the known and seemingly comfortable or even attempt to disappear into yourself, fearing that you will unduly suffer from your own inner critic. Now is not the time to sit on the fence and observe the feats of those around you. Now IS the time to take a blank canvas and to overcome that initial inertia of indecisiveness and just create for the sake of creating.

Today’s energetics offers you an honest invitation to truly transform, and engage in a highly initiatory creativity, to hear the call of the wild and to express yourself without abandon or thought. So sample all the exoticness that life has to offer you and to openly express yourself, your eros, your heart and your creativity bathed within an experimental freedom. All it requires is courage.

The familiar is not the place. The unfamiliar and unusual is.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image source – shutter stock

The Venus Diaries on the 28th May as Cardinal Water Venus continues Out of Bounds

There has literally been nothing to contain or hold back your heart felt emotions over this past month and as tiring and emotionally draining as it has been, there has also been a feeling of satisfaction and necessity as you have felt moved to openly express your heart regardless of the reactions of those around you. It has been a long time coming, after all you have been cosseted for far too long. You have been told how to think, look and act; you have had expectation placed on you; you have had to carry others who are not prepared to step up and take responsibility; you have had to deal with judgement, assumption and condemnation as you have threatened the security and equanimity of those frightened by your raw power – a power to create, to nourish, to sustain, to protect, to manifest and to connect. And so, you’ve given permission because of your worthlessness, lack of self-care and love to play a role less than you are capable of. But that has changed. It may have been slowly building for some time, but the sluice gates have been raised and now that your feelings are pouring forth, you can no longer contain, nor want to, the depth of how you feel. Pure and raw passion, united with others who similarly have felt the winds of change, you can feel the fecund potential of a liberated femininity and it is scary. It is why it has been demonised by those who don’t get the quiet and invisible power that exists within you. Yet no more, even though exhaustion washes through you and the tears have rolled down your cheeks. No more. Your heart is open. Your heart is free. There are no limits. There is nothing to contain you but you. How you direct this unbridled energy is the only question that you have to ask. How? That is on offer over the coming week.

Andrew Smith © 2018

No image credit sourced

The Gold and Venus Diaries on the 27th May as Venus leaves her Full with Saturn and the Sun trioctiles Pluto
Keenly felt, this past week has been one of deep flowing emotions as memories from the past have re-surfaced, as old scripts and patterns have surprisingly arisen and as you have had to face down the implications of the true values of those in your life. It has been their actions (and inactions) rather than their words that have hit home, after all the reality of someone’s truth is revealed in how they live as opposed to what beautiful lies they tell themselves. And it has hit your heart deeply and generated a cascading river free flowing from the windows of your soul.
 
Despite the grief, despite the reflections, despite the silence, despite the inactions, something feels different. Maybe it has something to do with the extensive reflection on and healing to the split in your heart between the masculine and feminine; perhaps it is the awareness that you have developed to free yourself from the legacy of abuse that has been carried within your blood line; perhaps it is because you are no longer willing to give away your power to another, no longer enslaved by impoverished values projected onto you and no longer content to prostitute yourself to make others feel comfortable. Or perhaps you have simply reached a stage where your eyes and heart have been opened to the stark reality of the seemingly inability of many to truly grow, heal, forgive, accept responsibility, to live multi-dimensionally and to free themselves from the deep legacies and prejudices of conditioning.
 
This past week has been one of both confrontation and illumination of your heart’s values and it has been raw. But rest easy, my friend and listen to that gently whispering voice that has been ever present throughout this emotional maelstrom – “rest easy. Let go those whose values no longer match you or whose inactions or snide comments no longer serve you. Let go the need to adhere to learned and external conditions that merely serve to disempower and negate your soul’s freedom. Let go the addiction to holding yourself back and the fear of being unlovable. Know that you are powerful beyond measure; you are beautiful; you already ARE and do not need to change; you merely need to cast off the weights that keep you in check. Open your wings and fly freely. You are ready to emerge. Ignore the attempts to keep you at bay. Trust. Believe. Let go.”
 
Andrew Smith © 2018
Image credit – no known source

The Venus Diaries on the 25th May as Cardinal Water Venus starts to reach her Full to Cardinal Earth Saturn

When confronted with fear of change, lOve and compassion are the only paths to peace and understanding. When lOve is the value that you hold above all others, you do not have to justify yourself, since you will find a way to navigate over scorched earth and vacuous waste, compassionately understanding the pain of another without aggravating, antagonising or putting another in their place.

But is lOve truly your path? Over the coming days the truth that lies within your heart will be revealed, so too whether depth of work you have invested in healing matters of esteem, worth and value has rooted itself deeply within or whether there are other scripts and patterns that need further healing.

If lOve is your path, even if hardness threatens to narrow the opportunity to heal; when ego reacts in a confrontational manner, seeking to impose itself upon you without kindness or due consideration for the other’s complex beliefs; when the vulnerability of truth is hidden deep behind a defensive wall; when deep rooted prejudices blindly dictate words; when reactive anger exposes raw and unresolved sensitivities that have never been accepted or understood; and when ignorance is hidden beneath the veil of mental elitism, then the depths of what you have healed will hold you still, firm and resolute; the compassion that you have shown to yourself will find a way of bridging between you; and the work that you have done on your esteem and worth will hold you in gentle confidence.

If lOve is your path, your heart will perceive the coming days as an opportunity to transmute all conflict and confrontation and to see this as a time to strengthen your boundaries and to mediate confrontation as you get to look at how clear your sense of self-respect and value are and to truly see how strong and deep your personal convictions lie as the world surrounding you may feel tense, reactive, intense or stuck in ignorance.

If lOve is your path…

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image from stock photos

The Purple and Turquoise Diary on the 24th May as Fixed Water Jupiter trines Mutable Water Neptune

We live in a world obsessed with matter and form; structure and measuring; achieving and doing; striving and progressing; conquering and dividing. Much of our creative energy is invested in those activities, and how they can generate the means to create freedom. It is an outstanding dedication, if truth be known, to productivity and looking at the bottom line. There would appear to be no overt time for either Spirit or the intangible/ unquantifiable. And yet, if you talk to anyone whose time is nigh, little energy is expended on what has been achieved or accomplished; on how much is in the bank or how high is Rumpelstiltskin’s gold! How much jOy, how much lOve, how much quality time spent with those you lOve or living what you lOve frequents the heart and soul of those who breath lessens.

Yet, if you look a little deeper, or raise your sights a little higher, the spirit and soul dimension is ever present. They are not the luxury items of the elite whose money has bought them time to sit back and reflect on such ethereal matters. They are the very Source of all intentions, dreams, aspirations, hopes and desire; they enable everything to flow and unfold in new ways; they impel and compel intention and action. In other words, the invisible world is a secret hidden resource that is there to be excavated for the huge resources of inspiration and guidance, motivation and conviction, for faith and belief that it is possible; that you are possible; that you can full realise and actualise the latent potential of your Soul’s path.

And seeing the invisible drivers within the physical is what the coming seven years are about, starting now; as faith in what is truly right; as lOve spreads quietly and behind the scenes away from the glaring eyes of a media who would have you convinced the world has gone mad and to pot; as vision fuses with hope and creates a space to enable your dream to fill your world with purpose.

So are you prepared to have the faith and confidence in yourself and to take the risks opening up to you? Are you prepared to trust and let go, being guided by your heart and to walk the path less frequented? Are you open to learn more and to push beyond your comfort zone, knowing that you are both protected and supported?

This time. Now.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by Frazer Irving

The Purple and Turquoise Diary on the 23rd May as Fixed Water Jupiter trines Mutable Water Neptune

In a world awash with opinion, fuelled by indignation, righteousness and judgement; in a world too fast to read or reflect deeply; in a world whose mind has been enslaved within the overt bias of institutions, hijacked by the media and colonised by the illusion of education, it has become very hard to discern what to believe or who to believe. However, deep within there is a voice that softly speaks to you about the right thing to do. It is a voice that transcends judgement; has no interest in the material consequences of your life; has only your integrity at heart, and your soul in mind. It is a voice that guides you through feeling. Its language is simple, even if you are guided down a path that seems complex and emotionally or practically challenging. It only has your best intentions in mind and once listened to, can never lead you astray, even if that means unravelling the complexity of decisions you have previously made. It is the voice of lOve, and decisions based on lOve create a reality of lOve. All you need to do is surrender, trust and let go, once you listen to that emotional impetus gently pushing you towards a particular action or conversation. It is really that simple. lOve is the path.

Andrew Smith © 2018

The Gold Diary on the 14th May as the Fixed Earth Sun trioctiles the Cardinal Earth Saturn

Quite frequently, your attention is drawn into the world at the ways in which the system we live within does not work – its prejudices, biases, nepotism, cronyism, corruption, ageism, greed, sexism, elitism and so on. Every so often the complaining and subsequent eager disapproving shakes of the head from those allies that you let off on, triggers a deep emotional response within your body. Naturally you dismiss your body’s intelligence and plough on with the intense exchange, talking more about the problem as opposed to the root of the issue and what can be done. And yet, the world you/ we live in is merely a mirror of the world within that you/ we live in. Those highly charged sensations in your body are informing of you of deeper archetypal, and often ancestral, scripts that have not been fully acknowledged, embodied and healed, triggering deep memories of emotional/ mental/ physical and spiritual violations against your sOul. Those enemies are those bondages that keep you trapped within a small circle, as opposed to the larger spiral that is there to help you move on. So as issues trigger intense physical reactions over the coming days, listen to what is going on within and talk to that part of your body, or acknowledge that tension and frustration that has arisen. The key to our New Earth lies within you and involves facing and embracing your Shadow. That way, you can stop killing yourself and by extension us and the world that we have created. The conditions are increasingly becoming more and more ripe to house our New Earth, but we can choose to resist or assist. Which will it be?

Andrew Smith © 2018

Art by James Victore

The Silver Diary on the 13th May as the Moon is Balsamic
Are you listening to your body’s intelligence or are you so busy scrolling in your spare time; so busy with the demands of such a fast paced life and the conditioning you’ve been fed since birth to live in the future, so busy with the excuse – I’m just being realistic; so busy with the countless demands that you’ve taken on, that you have forgotten the power of your gut instinct; dismissed as irrelevant that dizzying pressure in your head that is trying to TELL you something; ignoring the profound message of his/ her incompatible body scent …
 
Ahead of the Immanency Revolution that is starting this week, the day leading up to the New Moon is a time of deep medicine as you enter into a place of deep reflection regarding your relationship to your body and the spirit that exists within every living cell within you. Those cells have a consciousness and respond in a less complex way than our mind, yet they have been not been taken seriously in a world obsessed with the brain. So put down your tablet, relax your pointer finger, breathe in and draw in your awareness to your body, and notice where the tension lies within. Each part of the body has meaning and the tension will inform you what scripts are being ignored. Your body is your temple of your Soul and is teeming with awareness and consciousness. It is time to take it seriously and listen to it. The revolution is just around the corner. Are you getting yourself ready to listen to your body, to talk to your food, to hear the music of the trees, the chatter of the birds… Nature is alive. Gaia is awakening…
 
Andrew Smith © 2018
Art by Josephine Wall
To read my offering on cosmicintelligenceagency –
https://cosmicintelligenceagency.com/newmoontaurus-3/

The Orange Diary on the 12th May as Cardinal Fire Mercury conjoins Uranus

Shaking, electricity pouring through you within this hyper alive state, your mind no longer interested in the complexity of your multi-dimensional processing as the hunger to simply state truth seizes you – its all you can do, speak your truth; live your truth; be your truth. Nothing else matters. Life is too short to hold back, to let fear control you, to think that money matters when it comes to live true to your Path, to think that you can’t be who you are, to bother worrying about what other’s think. There is no box to think outside of. That is an illusion. Just open, not close; be, not become; express with trust, not over analyse.

Today’s energetics support the birth of a confident expression of your authentic voice. All you have to do is open and speak YOU.

Andrew Smith © 2018

Image credit unknown and unsourced

The Gold Diary on the 11th May as the Sun trines Pluto

The invitation to participate has arisen as your light steadily strengthens. You can feel the urge to get ‘out there’ and be more active in your world, as you notice that the darkened tunnel in which you have walked greys and you can see light at its end. Whether you feel ready and whether you have done the necessary healing work around your Yang-ness (your masculine side) or not, the time has arrived to stand up and be counted; to show yourself who you really are; and to shed the inner debate that has kept you quiet of late.

Today is an opportunity to let go and let be, without holding back and without restriction from the world you reside within. Whether you see the doors that are open to you in an innocent manner or whether you continue to carry suspicion and caution is really up to you. But those opportunities that will gently arise are just that – opportunities.

Andrew Smith © 2018