Agent Ei’s Planetary Diary

by Andrew Smith

The Venus Diaries on the 24th February as Arian Venus prepares to move into her Completion (4th March)

How sad she feels observing how filled with anger, getting even and getting one up many hearts have become. Reflecting back on her own life, she truly knows that using anger when confronted with anger simply does not work. It never has. It never will. All it does is to further reinforce the wall that someone wants to build, isolating, separating and dividing. She realises that remaining firm and resolute, being honest and offering lOve where there is pain, is the only path she can now walk, as she walks surrounded by confrontation. Tension abounds and an emotional storm rages. But from the depth of her experience, having started this particular path back on the 15th August 2015 (and renewed on the 6th June 2016), she now understands that confrontation is merely illumination in disguise – an illumination of what she has not integrated in herself and needs to, lest she remains bound to the Wheel. She knows that by healing herself; healing her heart; and trusting lOve, in time, slowly, the Wheel turns and a new dawn will come. Patience and lOve. Unwavering lOve. It is the only way.

Andrew Smith © 2017

Art by Eva Ruiz

The Purple Diary on the 23rd February as Jupiter opposes Uranus (extract from Emotional Storm – the New Moon in Mutable Water)
It has been an emotionally intense time on planet Earth of late, or I should reframe that statement – you have undoubtedly come aware how emotionally intense it has been at all levels on the Earth of late, as Darkness fights hard to survive against the increasing numbers of those that are remembering they are Light. Yet Darkness no longer has a stranglehold on the Earth, despite what it appears. Quietly, Light beckons and spreads. Goodness prevails, once you ignore the double talk echoing from your newsfeeds. Yes, justice is being hammered; yes, truth is being questioned; yes, parts of the world appear in regression; yes, egoic reactive anger has been heightened; and yes, Gaia is reappearing in various guises all over the world.
Remember that we are witnessing an age old dualistic, yet one sided, fight as Darkness goads and taunts Light, hoping to defeat Light by anchoring it to Darkness’ level. That ‘fight’ has escalated of late, as the world moves through a fascist echo of the late 1920’s and mid 1930’s, as our global community is being tested to see how deeply integrated have the choices been made to stand up against ignorance, racism, prejudice and wanton greed and corruption. One of those tests that Darkness has thrown at Light has been veiled behind the attachment to opinion and belief.
(Extract from Emotional Storm, the New Moon in Mutable Water, by Andrew Smith, to be published shortly on
Andrew Smith © 2017

The Red Diary on the 22nd February as Mars squares Pluto

The intense pressure burning through you, agitating your soul to act, unreasonably revving things up and enveloping you in an almost breathless embrace, you can feel something shift within you, you can sense that you are on the threshold of something utterly immense, and you can feel an overpowering sense that something has to give, that something is about to happen, that something huge is on the horizon. It is frightening; it is exciting; it is phenomenal; it is overpowering. And the heat… what heat! Blinding, pulsing, effervescent, consuming, draining, exhausting and liberating all at once.  The rage; the frustration; the primal alpha masculine reaction; the fight; the flight; the desire; the focus; the determination… how can you cope with such intensity raging within you, like a tornado ripping its way through a smouldering volcanic landscape. The raw power; the raw primal power. How to harness it? How to fight it? How to embrace it? How to deal with it? Can you deal with it? That is what you have been and will discover during this week.

Andrew Smith © 2017

The Gold Diary on the 19th February as the Sun octiles Mars

No matter how hard a pyramid attempts to pierce a circle; no matter how a soul seeks to lead by leading; no matter how ego tries to get what it wants; no matter how the will imposes itself on its world; no matter how greed tries to spread itself like soft butter; no matter how deep the lie is, the circle will always surround the pyramid; the leader has to learn to follow and then all the people lead; the ego always gets what it needs; karma bites; lOve triumphs and truth always outs. This is not a time for anger but determination, to treat unkind souls with unkindness, or to judge, condemn or pity another. That has been tried before and it has not worked. It is time to go high when the world goes low and channel your jaded and weary soul down another funnel, walking firm and resolute along a path of lOve, offering it to each and everyone you meet, even those lost souls who seek to wreak havoc within the lives of those you lOve and those you have yet to lOve.

Andrew Smith © 2017

The Gold Diary on the 18th February as the Sun wades into Pisces
Too long has your mind been over stimulated, processing, analysing and formulating your own ideas and opinions. Too long has the dryness of intellect chilled your heart, as you have sought to explain what the heart knows to be true. Too persistent has been the mind, the voice, the constant stream of news and the mental stress.
So today, please take my hand and wade with me into the unfathomable depths of the Living Water. Let’s bathe in her soothing coolness; let’s dive into her Deep; and let us cleanse and purify our soul in her ever vitalising essence. Feel that charge flow through you and breathe in her freshness. Ah, Water… she is feeling; she is shapeless, fluid and malleable; she is inconstant and is always in flow; she is continually adapting to her surroundings; she nourishes and activates life; and she is energy in motion – emotion. Remember that your emotions are your inner guidance system and by being continually aware of your emotions you can steer your life in more conscious direction instead of being swept along on a river of external thoughts and “situations”, under the influence or even direct control of others.
So take my hand and lets swim together, charging our souls with inspiration, imagination and raw, elemental feeling.
Andrew Smith @ 2017
Image Credit – Stephanie Law

The Venus Diaries on the 14th February as Venus conjoins the Uranus/ Chiron midpoint

How tragic it is to know what you lOve but to believe that you cannot make a living from it; how upsetting it is to know that there is no one alive with the unique skills, personality, perspective and consciousness that you have, yet not to free express every inch of your heart’s potential; how devastating it is to believe that you do not matter and that you cannot have an impact on your world, when you choose to incarnate during this time, a time wherein the patriarchal, hierarchal, fear based, dogmatic structures are crumbling, opening up your world, our world, to being defined in ways that are only limited by your imagination; a time wherein you can define the rules; a time wherein everything is possible and nothing is limited. How sad it would be if you didn’t use your unique potential in a way to infect your world/ our world, with your jOy, your lOve and your smile. You are not broken; you are not wounded; you are just you and there is no-one past, present or future who has ever been or ever will be, you.

Andrew Smith @ 2017

The Venus Diary on the 13th February as the Venus squares the Saturn/Pluto midpoint

Is the world more insane than ever; are people more reactive than usual; are the structures of life truly crumbling; is darkness spreading more smoothly than before; is the light truly lessening or is it merely that you are closing the curtains to the windows into your own room and shutting out the ever radiant, everlasting Light that perpetually floods the sky from horizon to horizon?

The world is the world and has always been the world. There has always been pain, as much as there is jOy; there has always been unkindness, as much as there has been kindness; there has always been lOve as much as there has been those who have forgotten. What you ‘see’ depends on what you perceive and you always have choice – to ‘see’ the world as kind or unkind or as rising from darkness, or descending into it.

Shining ever so brightly each and every night, lighting the darkness of the night, your heart consciousness radiates as she never has done, guiding you towards an illumination of the purpose of this ancient pain. If you can invoke the learning within every suffering you have experienced, truly integrating what you have been offered, this diamond-light will cleanse the dark, your dark, of its weight, freeing you to reach higher ground and enabling you to see that it is merely your own thinking that perceives the world as being dark.

Andrew Smith @ 2017

Image Credit – shutterstock

The Venus Diaries on the 12th February as Venus squares the Saturn/ Pluto midpoint

The unspoken frustration of lOving consciously is remaining ever vigilant of those lingering thought forms that have not been fully healed, forms that puppeteer those in your life to collude with you to ‘test’ whether you truly have integrated the scripts that you have previously healed or whether you are merely cognitively conscious of them.

Echoing in the ether are the willowy phantasms of lOve past, quietly arising within those vulnerable moments, tempting you to react in a way that honours the person who have been, as opposed to who you now are. Will you keep high when you can swing low? Will you step back and bind yourself further to your karma? Or will you see through the messenger and the darkened form that desperately hopes to re-enslave you?

These times are a testing. These times are tiring. These times offer profound liberation of your heart and soul, as the structures that house our reality crumble.

Andrew Smith @ 2017

The Venus Diaries on the 11th February as Venus octiles the Chiron/Pluto midpoint
The relief she thought would arise foraging in the empty fields of self-analysis has not come as her head aches, crown buzzes, root tingles, heart further opens and her emotions flow freely. Sleep has not been a release either, as the pull between the inner and outer Lights has left her feeling wired; so too those surreal hypnogogic moments that makes it all feel a little too weird. And so she leaves down her journal, forsaking analysis-paralysis in favour of surrendering into her body’s wisdom as she feels something call to let rise through her a primal energy. Breathing deeply into her core, she can feel it take over. Momentarily frightened of the dizzying heat, she continues to surrender, allowing images and sounds, emotions of memories past and visions of memories future, envelope her. Heart racing, she feels something powerful move her heart and she realises that she has lived in denial of her heart, in rejection of her being and in ignorance of how powerful she is; how powerful her heart is; how powerful her Being is. Reminded of who she is, the path of truth becomes clearer as she knows it is her sacred duty to walk hand in hand with beauty, her beauty.
Let the pain within heal as the Beauty that you are rises.
Andrew Smith @ 2017

The Silver Diary on the 10th February as the Moon opposes the Sun and the Earth’s Shadow partially eclipses the Moon

This one goes out to all those who have stuck to their principles, despite the hardship and pain; who have kept walking, even though a battle has waged inside their head; who have endured and persisted even though the easy route was offered; who have kept the inner flame burning, even in dark, sodden times; who have gone it alone, trusting that magic is alive, even when doubting Thomas laughed hard; and to those who have not sold out.

Remember that imbued within is unlimited potential, goodness and trust, dreams and ideals and wings to lift you high above the dross.

Remember that as you breathe deeply in and exhale an extraordinary HOWL tonight.

Happy Leonine Full Moon to each and every one of you.

Andrew Smith @ 2017

The Gold Diary on the 9th February as the Sun sextiles Uranus

Two questions for you –

What is more painful – living comfortably and securely within someone else’s opinion of what is good for you while your heart-felt jOy remains hidden within enormously thick granite walls  or trusting yourself and your creative essence to earn a living BEING who it is that you are, even if the naysayers shake their heads in disbelief at your childish immaturity?

Who is happier, more purposeful and lives a more sustainable life – the colonised soul, whose ego has identifies having with being, or the weirdo, whose Being has silenced those terrified voices and has chosen to live simply, freely and in open acknowledgement of Truth?

If you have difficulty identifying what it means to live authentically, just think about the radiance and innocence of a child who is under seven, who is utterly unaware of cynicism, caution or concerned with money, who lights up a room with their smile and infectious laugh. They unassumingly hold your attention and the world, literally, revolves around them. That is what is on offer to you, without the challenge of facing pre-puberty again!

Andrew Smith @ 2017

The Gold Diary on the 8th February as the Sun sextiles Uranus

Arising passionately, you can feel an ‘energy’ uncoil from deep within, opening up your awareness as bolts of excitation enliven your soul. Liberation is the name of the game, as opportunity abounds to open your consciousness and awareness to the infinite possibility of your uniqueness, strengthened by the support that surrounds you as door after door opens, providing you with a multitude of choice, each as enticing as the next. Knowing thyself and being true to who it is that you are is all you can do, as the doors that open are offering you the chance to further individuate and openly express the truth that has lain within for too long. Breaking free from any bonds that have previously constrained you, open expression, authentic being and clarity of decision are hallmarks of this time.

Andrew Smith @ 2017

Image Credit – Rhads

The Venus Diaries on the 5th February as Venus burns brightly in Aries square the Jupiter/ Neptune midpoint

What would happen if telling lies was the norm? Lies in error or white lies aside, what does the black yolk of fabrication/ omission/ shock tactics (to hide the real business)/ denial/ lack of transparency/ redirection/ misrepresentation/ broken promises/ hypocrisy/ or living a lie do to your psyche? As those falsehoods tear up your ground, trust is broken, leadership lacks credibility, news is merely propaganda, reputations are shattered, suspicion rules the day as the seed that is planted, yields a harvest that can rarely wither.

Though your heart walks along a path surrounded by “alternative’ crops, remember that honesty is all you have to anoint your eyes and heart. Your wizened heart is now both alive with truth and animated to show forth what you truly value. When you lOve, you cannot hide it; when you are upset, you cannot hide it; when you are angry, you cannot hide it. You can feel that to say what you mean and mean what you say, is all you can do. You know that you do not need to send a raven to pierce the heart of another or feed the demon of disappointment with your anguish and anger, after all that is unkind and untrue to your path. Stand firm and resolute, wise friend, confident in your honesty, unaccepting of the double talk and ever loving in the face of someone in pain, strife and in absence of remembering the gentle touch of lOve. These are defining days.

Andrew Smith @ 2017

Image Credit – Stock images

The Venus Diaries on the 4th February as effervescent Arian Venus outshines a vibrant Mars

Shining ever so brightly, her light is a beacon of hope amidst a world that may have forgotten that a heart can never dwindle; a heart can never lose hope; a heart-flame can never be extinguished. Long and far she has travelled, in search of … yet as she closes her eyes and her attention is drawn inwards, it dawns on her …

How silly it has been to see herself through the lens of another, when all she needs has shyly burned within her own heart. Drawing her full attention on her heart, she focuses only on her jOy. Desire aroused, a quickening floods upwards from her root, consuming her soul as she renew her lOve and life.

Her passion wedded to the excitement of the unbounded possibility arising from the singular focus on her jOy. Renewed and refreshed, her flame searing an imprint in the ether, illuminating your eyes to see the beauty and magic in life, the beauty and magic in lOve – a lOve that is merely the jOy of your heart. You know what your jOy is, you know what brings a silent tear to your eye, you know what it means to feel jOy in repetition, so why don’t you unleash your unique jOy through your being and into your world. Never lose hope. Never. Your heart is all you have. lOve what you are passionate about. Be that passion and don’t care what you think the world thinks. Your passion is what we lOve. Your passion is what inspires us. Be your passion.

Andrew Smith @ 2017
Still from YouTube – The Love We Make, Prince

The Venus Diaries as Venus enters Aries in octile to the Sun, as she sits high in the early evening skies, brighter that she ever has been, shining down upon all of creation.

Ah the jOy of lOve within a wizened heart, as the flame of light is embraced with stately prudence; gently but firmly held; burning away the mirage of possibility, leaving only that which is true, honest and pure. Within this cleansing fire, falsehood is reduced to a powder of ashes, weariness replaced by vigour; and confusion by clarity. Your lOve is now burning ever so brightly, searing through the darkness and lighting the way through the therapy of emotional scripts as you have been awash with feelings, desires and passionate longings in recent weeks, diluting your power to create and to have real love in your life.

Yet, it all feels so different as you stand on this threshold. As you enter the Fire, you know that you have no choice but to give up all disempowering, diminishing, unhappy relationships and choosing a new way of being in relationship, to yourself and to those in your world. You can feel the quietly burning spark jump to flame as the distance between your heart and being is shortened.

On this dawn, I’d like to wish you courage that quietly strengthens within your heart, igniting your life to flame with living spirit, warming passion and inspiring light. May this moment be the ground through which your heart intentions and actions manifest.

Andrew Smith @ 2017

The Venus Diaries on the 1st February as Venus approaches her Maximum Brightness in quintile to Pluto

Invisible to all but you, this dawn is all about the empowerment of your heart-essence. It has been a process that has been gradually building and the way in which you can grow is largely dependent upon the insights and understanding you have gained concerning how you have embodied the scripts and patterns that have, for several lifetimes, puppeteered your emotional and creative consciousness.  It feels both exciting and daunting at the same time, especially since it is a non-verbal time. Yet a deep knowingness, or telos, exists compelling you to let all you love, all you have created, all that you value die, so it can be re-born, refreshed and anew. Your heart is a phoenix and as the flame of passion is being rekindled, the consciousness that has driven you into your existing relationships has to be let go, along with it all those in your life, so that you can similarly rekindle that which can be rekindled.

Andrew Smith @ 2017

Image credit – punkisstillc

The Orange Diary on the 30th January as Mercury squares off with Uranus

Living consciously is not always easy, especially in the face of overt alternative truths whose intention is to conceal decision that serve ego and not the Soul. You may realise that inherent to living consciously is the awareness that there exists seven billion human realities, along with the countless realities perceived by the innumerable other souls that share the Earth plane. Each reality has its own unique scripts and learnings; each reality is valid for the perceiver. So what can you do? Your reality is no better than anyone else’s and therefore you accept that you will not always agree with the way that other’s perceive their world.

Yet, universal to being alive is kindness. Decisions made from that state tend to create kindness, mutual understanding, acceptance, lOve and leave a smile on each other’s faces. Decisions made from ego, tend to eventually scar. You know that ego wants to impose your world on others, impassioning people to see things your way and to make decisions for that ever so dangerous rhetoric – for the common good. So the path of the silent observer has felt like the only viable and conscious option, especially as you heal your inner conditions and watch as your outer world morphs around you to reflect your perception.

But boy is that difficult, so difficult during a time when greed, veiled hatred, fear and black magic spreads its willowy hand around your throat. All you can do is stand firm and believe that lOve is the only way; that lOve will light the path and that kindness is the message, even in the face of grave and damned lies. Bullies cannot feed off lOve, only fear. Remember that as you are challenged to hold to the truth of your heart over the coming days. lOve is the only way.

Andrew Smith @ 2017

The Orange Diary on the 29th January as Mercury conjoins Pluto

Have you fully embraced the invitation to speak out without holding back, even though you may feel naked and vulnerable? Have you trained your eyes to see the invisible bonds that bind your inner world to all those in your outer world, and that those in your life are merely a reflection of some dimension of your own soul? Have you given truly of yourself to free yourself from expectation, entitlement and judgement, so that your mind can remain free, open and true? As your mind deepens, you can feel the strains of knowledge that have previously created your reality; you can see the convoluted, disturbed and perverted thought forms whose origins lies within someone else’s path, that have influenced your thinking and reality, as they have resonated with darker scripts within you that need to be healed and released.

You can plant a seed of a thought that will fuel your reality, charismatically compelling others to share your reality and help to make it real. Let’s just hope you are doing it for the right reasons, empowering others so that you raise the bar, as opposed to doing it for self-orientated reasons, enslaved by wanting to make things better/ wealthier/ more successful to justify your egoic desire. That is a choice that you can only make, since the energetic conditions that you live through will be guided and moulded by your awareness and intent, as opposed to influencing you. Always remember, the stars incline but do not define. That is your free will. That is what it means to be human.

Andrew Smith @ 2017


The Venus Diaries on the 28th January as Venus separates from her square to Saturn

The healing has been ginger and the mood, reflective as you have been inwardly challenged to redefine the boundaries of your heart. Now is the time to free your heart from those self-recriminating voices that whisper perpetually on a seemingly eternal loop, whose intent has been to bind you deeply and prevent lOve from consciously flowing freely. The work you have done this week has been immense and despite feeling the allure of that black hole, you have not wilted as you have drawn deeply from your own dignity. lOve has been ever present during those lonely moments, guiding and protecting you as your heart has heaved under the metronomic beat of Hephaestus’ hammer. Through this wound-window, light has entered, illuminating the two possible paths and lOve has guided you up and out. So this weekend, give silent gratitude to those whose dark gifts have schooled your heart in acceptance, compassion and understanding, as you acknowledge the new kindness that has entered through the gaps those scars have left.

Andrew Smith @ 2017

Image credit – Jen Kiaba

The Venus Diaries on the 26th/ 27th January as Venus squares Saturn

What a past few days as layers of heart-processing has arisen. I know, I know. It seems never ending, but there is something different about the serious reflection that has taken place this week. Amidst the turbulence, the contradictory messages and the disconnect that you have observed as those who claim to speak and live truth, have been exposed, you can feel an air of calmness descend around you. Moments of clarity have enabled you to see through the veil and you have been able to clearly see the puppeteering of a posturing ego.

Reflecting on the reasons why this has happened, you have understood that it has all been about testing your sense of value – your self-worth, self-esteem, self-belief and self-lOve. You know that it is merely a test – a test of how deeply you believe in yourself, your path and your jOy. And you know that what has been revealed are deeper layers of your heart-karma. And you have stood firm. You have stood tall. You have kept walking along the high road, because of all the tears previously shed; the inner processing; the inner healing; and the ancestral clearing. So this time, it has felt different. You have been able to keep your head during those critical moments of crisis, when in the past you would have dissolved into an emotional wreak. And you did not succumb to the allure of the quick fix, even when things felt so slow, so frustrating, so fearful – financially, professionally and personally.

You have seen the deeper meaning in why this test in your value and worth, in your relationships and in your business has manifested. It has all been about your conviction and belief in your heart and whether you continue to walk firmly on your path. And now, this time is passing and this weekend it will pass. Breathe deeply. Breathe lOve. There is no other way.

Andrew Smith @ 2017

The Venus Diaries on the 24th/ 25th January as Venus conjoins Chiron/ squares Saturn

It is so easy to become incensed by injustice, by vindictiveness, by petty small mindedness and by ignorance. It is so easy to waste your energy on fantasies of getting even, to conjure up infinite fantastical scenarios in your mind’s eye or to envision the egoic satisfaction of the perfect repartee, as you break the ‘other’ in the righteous act of doing onto them that has been done onto you… And it is all too easy to allow negativity repetitively spin on a never ending loop, addictively releasing that sweet nectar dopamine around your system, further fuelling rapture envisioned prophesies.

But what is happening?

…. You are binding yourself to the ever perpetuating wheel of karma, magnetising yourself to this plane of consciousness to ever repeat, time after time, the same scenarios until one day you realise that you are merely playing out Einstein’s definition of stupidity.

Is that what you want?

More anon, or to read the full article (Test of Conviction – the New Moon in Fixed Air, octile Venus/ Chiron square Saturn), it will be posted on and newsletter posted this morning.

Andrew Smith @ 2017

The Venus Diaries on the 23rd January as Venus semi-sextiles Uranus

A gentle bridge connecting you to a higher inspirational ideal has graced your awareness, but whether you have the confidence to explore and accept without limitation and condition what the Muse is carrying for you across that conduit is up to you. She is speaking; she beckons and she wants you to live with a deeper sense of jOy and lOve. Will you listen?

Andrew Smith @ 2017

Image Credit – Jim Warren

The Venus Diaries on the 21st and 22nd January as Venus sextiles Pluto

Ah the joys of seeing the tangible expression of your maturing heart-reality! As you have sought to heal prior unkind experiences, your sense of esteem and worth has strengthened and the latent potential of your heart-essence and the free fluid expression of your sense of love has been unleashed. Through this protect space, deeper insight into why you have journeyed with pain (yours or ancestral) has been invoked, releasing that which can now be offered up and healed. As lOve further awakens within you, the night of your heart feels more like dawn breaking. Where before there was anonymity, now there is intimacy; where before there was fear, now there is courage; where before there was awkwardness, now there is a rhythm of grace and gracefulness; where before you used to be jagged, now you are elegant and in rhythm with yourself. As lOve awakens, it is like a rebirth. Everything is possible. Everything.

Andrew Smith @2017

Image credit – Thitipon Dicruen

The Red Diary for the 18th and 19th January as Mars squares Saturn

Your ability to bring spirit into matter is being tested during this time, so the principle question revolves around your clarity and honesty in bringing forth Spirit – how clear are you? Does your ego get in the way? Do you remain on your path when anger takes you? What quality of spirit manifests through you, when practicalities get in the way? Are you able to rise above the distractions, the soap opera dramas, the desires, the lusts, the ambitions and the goal setting when they cross your path, especially if they don’t serve your higher good?

Andrew Smith © 2017

The Red Diary on the 17th January as Mars quincunxes Jupiter

Amidst the copious distractions and pulls on your energy, focus and concentration, you are being called upon to draw deeply on your own faith and belief in yourself and in what you are doing, as you need to check in with yourself to see how you are doing and whether you are acting in accordance with your inner convictions and purpose. This is a call to action, action to actualise your will and to raise up the power and drive of your base chakra into activities that best serve bring light from spirit into form. As desire rises, so too does the opportunity to stray from your path. This challenge is being put in your way, so you discover the strength of your will power to stay the path.
Andrew Smith © 2017

The Red Diary on the 16th January as Piscean Mars conjoins Chiron

4 minute video –

There is no doubt that some souls appear to have gravely difficult paths and that their physical functioning is severely limited, as seen through the eyes of those who can ‘function normally’. There is no doubting the suffering that some people carry with their disability, and how that disability can impact those within their world. Whether that ‘disability’ truly thwarts a soul’s capacity to express itself or whether that soul somehow finds a way to grow within the psycho-spiritual matrix generated by those ‘disabling’ scripts truly defines whether a disability is truly a disability or just another way of ‘being’.
What constitutes a disability? Is it merely a physical or mental phenomenon? What about those emotional of psychological patterns that deeply scar and wound? What about those deeper spiritual scripts that are carried through your bloodline, reoccurring over time as your soul attempts to work through those barriers that hinder your experience oneness?

It is impossible not to navigate through life without becoming wounded, experiencing pain, amassing regrets and suffering what the ego interprets as being disappointments. Those patterns can feel disabling as they ‘appear’ to control and puppeteer life. Is disability truly a disability, if it is inherent within each and every living being, or is disability a set of specific set of conditions through which a soul can grow in some way?

Eden Cipolla is a remarkable lady, born with Cerebral palsy, yet despite her ‘disabled’ state, her art is alive with her heart and soul, expressing so much depth, insight and profound wisdom, wisdom that has arisen with formal learning, without having travelled the world and sat at the ‘feet’ of masters who have imparted their knowledge for her to grow. Her ‘limitations’ and ‘wounds’ have not prevented her from expressing her heart and soul and her story is truly touching and inspirational and gives pause to complete what does disability truly mean.

“Eden tells me that at one point in her life that she was not aware of her limitations. Her art work is about her rebirthing process, her rebirth into a more realistic thinker with no more unrealistic expectations and so many more possibilities” Nicolette.

“I want disabled people to know that whatever level of ability they have, they can make art…” Eden Cipolla

My thanks to Sandra Orellana Sears for sharing Eden’s story and this video clip with me

Andrew Smith © 2017
Image of Sandra and Eden
Video courtesy of Joshua Enoch Williams

The Red Diary on the 15th January as Piscean Mars conjoins Chiron

Are you able not to descend to ‘bar fight’ when unkindness graces your life?

With your heart operating at a higher level these days and with so much evidence of unkind actions, ego driven comments, heightened stress and anxiety within a desperately fast paced time, unkindness is an opportunity to treat with kindness, as fear, frustration and anger cede in the face of lOve’s overpowering humility and awareness.

But it is so easy to fall when your ego gets in the way, after all is it not right to stand up for yourself, defend yourself and not take that s***e without a fight? There are, of course, times wherein it may be right to stand up for your beliefs and to protect those whom you feel need protecting. But that does not mean you have to fight a fight by fighting! There are ways to channel your passion, your warrior spirit and your determined focus in a way that is concentrated and resolute, without dropping your standards. And this time is one of those moments wherein you are being handed an opportunity to ‘see’ how well you cope when hurt, as you can clearly see whether you walk a path of spirit or remain perpetually chained to the path of ego. Descend or ascend, which will it be?

Andrew Smith © 2017

The Venus Diaries on the 14th January as Venus quintiles Mercury

There you stand, golden ticket in your hand, having worked ever so hard to gain entrance into this vast palatial hall. Before lies open innumerable doors, each as enticing as the next, each leading you towards differing, but warm and inviting worlds. The choice lies within you, as it always has, but something feels different. Perhaps it is the lack of stress or anxiety; perhaps it is the absence of pressure; perhaps it is an instinct that there is will be no wrong decision made in this protected space; perhaps all the processing, integration and growth that you have undertaken to gain insight into your esteem, worth and value have worked and now, before you lies the culmination of that journey – multiple options, multiple opportunities and a sense of unlimited support. One door feels more welcoming than the rest and towards it you walk. Stepping across the threshold, it feels both comfortable and not familiar, a feeling you have not had in a long time. It warms your heart and a smile spreads across your face, as your eyes open wide in pleasant affirmation, your heart beating in tune with the joy that now floods through your awareness. You have made the right choice!

Andrew Smith © 2017

The Venus Diaries on the 13th January as the jewel in the night, Venus conjoins Neptune in Pisces
Stepping down from the podium on which her Throne sits, she gracefully walks towards the rhythmic cascading of the breaking waves. Irresistibly drawn to submerge herself, she breathes deeply in the ionized air, feeling a calming peace settle her by this sea of grace. How gentle the water feels, immersed here beneath the waves of a deeper, vaster love. The stillness and deafening silence soothes her soul and starkly contrasts the mental noise from which she came.
“Within these waters life began”, she hears, “Water is your life giver. You cannot survive without her. You have built your cities on the landscape she has shaped – riverbeds, alluvial planes, coastlines. She can extinguish even the hottest known fire, lava; flood or fertilise your earth; and cools your air. She is instinct. She is feeling. She is shapeless, fluid and malleable. She can be solid, liquid or gaseous. She is inconstant and is always in flow. She is continually adapting to her surroundings. She nourishes and activates life. She is within you. She is without you. She is omnipresent.
“So trust in your life and let go. Let it all go! It is time to let go all longing and desire. lOve cannot flourish unless you are permanently free of your egoic constructs. Your presence within these waters is intense enough to dissolve your pain-body. So cleanse yourself of expectation and attachment. Feel your formlessness and timelessness. Look beyond the veil of form and separation. Realise oneness. This is lOve. This is what is within your reach – the being underneath the thinker, the love and joy underneath the pain- freedom, salvation and enlightenment”.
Breaking the surface and gasping for air, her wistful dreams floating away from her, her eyes opened, her heart beckons, she feels refreshed and renewed.
Andrew Smith © 2017
Image credit unknown – the goddess Lemanja

The Venus Diaries on the 12th January as Venus reaches her greatest elongation above the Sun in the early evening skies, marking her maturity and rest, as she prepares for the next stage of her journey – her descent!

At last, Her Throne…

Slowly, steadily this maturing process has unfolded. Starting back on the 24th July, her world has been tested, as every value that she has in her heart has been scrutinised. There have been sizeable affronts to all she loves; questions as to all that she holds dear; and questions raised as to every relationship that she is actively part of. It would have been easy to react; to justify herself; to defend herself, yet something within her told her that that path would not work this time; that she would continue to be enslaved and perpetuate the old dive and conquer paradigm. Even when every fibre in her body wanted to scream out at the injustices; the slagging; the shaming; the lies; the deception; the wonton abuse of power; the ignorance and the lack of awareness, something in her calmly spoke that lOve will always prevail. Even within her darkest, loneliest moments, she heard whisper in the night – lOve will always prevail. Even when she felt despondent and despair at the unkind words, deeds and actions, she knew that lOve would ultimately prevail. Even when she felt her heart could break at her seemingly powerlessness in the face of greed, nepotism and ignorance, she felt the gentle touch of lOve and knew that there would be another way.

And there has been another way. A higher road. A road that has steadily lit her interiority, illuminating the shadows that have enslaved her heart, making her believe that she could never make a living from what she loved; never experience the gentle touch of love; and never see her heart’s love openly and freely expressed. She saw clearly that love was not lOve and when lOve was infused into her being, her perspective changed and she felt that she could make a living from what she lOved; that lOve had gently enveloped her; that lOve was all that she had to offer; that lOve chased away the shadows and illuminated her path.

Egoic desire ceded to heart centred expression; discernment replaced judgement; hunger and longing yielded to tolerance and patience; acceptance, gratitude and compassion strengthened as she remembered who she is and embodied the fullness of her experience, reaching up to a more full, more mature and more conscious expression of her femininity and creativity.

At the top of this climb, she can see before her, her next journey, as the path slopes downwards towards her next destination, in 86 days. But for now as she ascends her throne, her brilliance radiates for all to see, unveiling all that she is and all that she can be – a true conscious expression of her heart’s potential.

Andrew Smith © 2017

The Venus Diaries on the 11th January as Piscean Venus has one foot on her Throne, reaching for the hand of Neptune
1 more day …
There is nothing more profound that emanating true bliss and to stand in the presence of Oneness. Your heart longs for that space and it has driven your desire for true soul union, a union based in lOve and not love. Love will sustain you only so far, love will inspire you, enchant you, entice you, lifting you up to a height and leave you pining for more. Love is you tilt your lance at windmills, as you hungrily seek union is another. Yet is it this love that fulfils your maturing heart? Is it this love that sustains you? Is it this love that continually opens your heart, time and time again?
True love comes from lOve.
As you experience lOve, you realise that nothing is not you; you realise the divinity in all things – living or ‘not’; you realise that everything is right and perfect, and those voices in your head that stand in judgement do not come from lOve; and you realise that when you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you and that lOve is everything that exists.
And so, this climb has been all about seeking to release all the patterns that prevent your physical being from experiencing Oneness, as you seek to calm your ego from the expectation of meeting someone who will fulfil you, and as you dissolve your worry about achieving your egoic desire of living the dream, you find yourself and you realise the illusion in projection and anticipation and your focus returns to the now and your acceptance of all that is and all that accompanies you.
1 more day…
Andrew Smith © 2017
Image Credit – Unknown
The Venus Diaries on the 10th January as Piscean Venus reaches out towards her Throne and Neptune
2 days …
Maturity and wisdom is such a kicker, bemoans the box of chocolates that lies unopened on the coffee table, having tried its hardest to grace her lips and hips. In what supposed to be a lull, she remembered that the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom, and having decided to find another route to that palace, she forsook the stimulants even though her heart was pulled. So onwards she climbs, ever higher, her throne finally in sight.
What a profound journey she has been travelling, ever conscious that she needs to en-bright-en her heart. And it has not been easy at times, after all there are no true guidelines to experience lOve, but so many to reinforce love. Conscious not to repeat what has gone before and expect a different outcome, she realised that love has not worked. That has been so difficult to accept. Everything she had learnt told her that love is all she needed and this fuelled her younger dreams, actions and thoughts. She moved continents, crossed countries, quit jobs, stayed in unhealthy situations, all because she wanted love and that her actions would increase love in her life. Yet, she realised, through heart ache and disappointment that love had rules. Love had rules? What?
And then it dawned on her. Love without lOve is not love; lOve has no conditions or limitations; lOve has no expectations; lOve has no scripts or patterns; and lOve defies time. Her ego said: “I will love you if…” but this love is not lOve. It is fleeting; it comes and goes depending on what people are doing and thinking and it gets mixed up with a lot of nonsense and process. lOve on the other hand is pure and unveiled. It is always present, regardless of whether or not you are in a relationship. And it has always been within your own heart. But everything about this world has sought to blocked this gnosis. Until now.
It has finally dawned on her. Love is not lOve.
Love is not lOve.
Love is not lOve.
Her throne draws ever nearer…
2 days…
Andrew Smith © 2017
image Credit – Unknown
The Venus Diaries on the 9th January as Piscean Venus trioctiles Libran Jupiter
3 days …
Nearly there! Long has been the climb. Not as youthful as you’d like to think. Your legs maybe tired but your mind is alert and eagerly scanning the horizon. Just ahead. Just a few more steps to go. And then its downhill. Literally. 104 days before the inevitable. But that’s for another day.
For today, the ‘feel good’ factor, arms anticipating a good ol’ rest just behind your head; your weary legs longing to stretch out before you; your bum wanting to lounging on a comfortable sofa; your eyes looking forward towards watching your favourite movie; your tummy ignoring your resolutions and slowing metabolism as your nostrils pick up the scent of those sugary goodies within arm’s reach; and then your heart, has worked so hard, has cleared so much, has matured so deeply, but still reckons that the most delectable lover, scantily dressed serving you the nectar of your choice is still an enticing offer… too good to be true?
Perhaps. But you’ve worked hard. You’ve released much. You’ve step above those ego responses that could have set you back. Your heart has grown. Your heart has been really learning the difference between love and lOve, so a little distraction back into love is okay… isn’t it? Just remember, a second on the lips is a …
Enjoy today.
The climb tomorrow and 3 more days …
Andrew Smith © 2017
Art by Benjamin Constant, Favorite of the Emir
The Orange Diary on the 8th January as Mercury turns
91 days…
And so, just like that, emails find their way to their rightful place; keys magically reappear; the paper upon which contracts are signed breathe easily and eagerly beckons to the pen and ink so they can enjoy a smooch without interruption; and people stop misinterpreting each other, start fully listening and reading, as opposed to skimming and feeling overloaded with so many communication platforms open at once! After all, that is the only purpose of Mercury’s backwards wandering three to four time a year. Isn’t it?
So how was it really for you? Were you able to find quietness and reflection time coming up to the solstice and before the New Moon? Were you able to let go of some central thought-forms that were puppeteering your reality prior to the 28th December? Were you able to decide upon a Word that would inspire you to create your reality over the coming months? Have you been able to gently play with that Word over the arbitrary start of the new western calendar? And are you confident to infuse that Word into your world, watching it grow and along with it a fresh take on your reality between now and the 7th March?
However, if you prefer to believe that things go wrong within Mercury Retrograde, tickety boo, as I hear your shout “Yippee, it’s finally over”! Here’s to the next that things can only go wrong – from the 10th April… hmm…
91 days…
Andrew Smith © 2017
Image from

The Venus Diaries on the 8th January as Piscean Venus octiles Arian Uranus

4 days …

Tired of pretending, no longer interested in the ‘game’, guilt and shame no longer sheltering your supposedly vulnerable heart, confidence has been steadily growing this past few months of your unique natural perfection. No longer be able to assert your unlovability, you have been steadily discovering the difference between love and lOve. No longer able to conclude that a mistake has been made or that you were born under a bad star, you have seen that even your neurotic spinning has been woven of particles full of luminosity, brilliance and, ironically, intelligence. There has never been ‘you’ here and ‘lOve’ over there, after all that is love’s domain. lOve is you. lOve is not something that you need to search for or hope that it will find you. lOve may not even be found within the arms of another. lOve is you. lOve is imbued in the fabric of your unique cosmic DNA. There is no need to suspend your participation here until things look the way you thought they would. lOve is here now and is burning up in its longing to move through you to set this world on fire, a fire that is rising up through you, freeing your heart’s emotions and opening you up fully and irrevocably. Viva le Maturing, wizening heart.

4 days…

Andrew Smith © 2017

The Venus Diaries on the 7th January as Piscean Venus conjoins the South Node and octiles Uranus, as the Sun conjoins Pluto

5 days …

What is it about life that you gain insight and perspective regarding your heart centred patterns, feel elated that you have deftly navigated around so many distractions and have raised the bar, to wake up, feel another’s pain and then to dive back into the waters from which you have swam. It’s like ground hog day! But something is changing. It may feel familiar and you experientially know what can arise, as the lantern beckons on the shelf eagerly imploring you to don your empath’s uniform and to head out onto the dramatic war torn landscape in search of someone to save. But something in you does not want to grasp the lantern; something in you has strengthened and is no longer drawn by the emotional drama of pleading souls of are not interested in using your help to truly help themselves. Is this what discernment is about? Is this what maturity entails? It is not easy, but something feels different.

Perhaps it is exhaustion from picking up too many sensations from the world around you? Perhaps it is frustration of feeling queasy from the toxicity of the fear body that has gripped the world? Of perhaps it has been this inner flame rising of late? A quintessence that has stirred from deep within; a presence that you have previously felt but been too afraid to surrender to; a fire that burns, yet does not hurt; a fire that cleanses, but does not destroy. Your heart feels that familiar tug, but that flame … that flame… so compelling… so transfixing… so fascinating …

Will you step into this inner fire and further purify, heal and cleanse your soul of all ego-heart driven longing to ease the pain of separation? Will you channel this ‘watery-fire’ through you into a more liberated state of awareness, helping you connect to your higher self and opening you up to a complete shift in awareness and consciousness of your heart’s expression? Will you stay the path as your heart further awakens or will you take up that lantern and dive back into the unconscious waters, seeking to save those who don’t truly want to be saved?

5 days…

Andrew Smith © 2017

Image from

The Venus diaries on the 6th January as Piscean Venus quintiles Saturn as the Sun starts to embrace Pluto

6 days…

Ah the test. To love or to lOve? To accept another as they are, knowing that they reflect some deeper aspect of yourself, their presence in your life mirroring some deeper process in you, helping you to reclaim those ‘unseen’ qualities back, yet remaining whole and present to share love, to share lOve and to share love and lOve? Or to appear to accept another as they are, knowing that the reflect some deeper part of you but hoping that they will somehow ‘see’ you, love you and perhaps lOve you and maybe even love and lOve you?

Ah the test. To push the process faster than it should go, to allow your hunger and desire get in the way, or to hope that because you felt pain, processed and released that that is sufficient? Or to accept that your soul will be ready to truly connect at the deepest level possible with someone who is truly ready to connect at the deepest level possible, when their soul is ready, and that when that time comes, regardless of whether there are darkened times shared, misunderstandings, complex pasts, emotional processing or whatever, that you will be met, you will meet and you can truly merge as One, yet remain not as One?

Ah the test. To allow your heart the grace of temperance, the wisdom of experience and the confidence that lOve will embrace you and that you have not done something wrong if love has pained, or love has waned, or if lOve has not truly flowed between you and another yet? Or to pretend that your heart has temperance, wisdom and confidence, yet deep within you don’t truly believe in your power to attract love or lOve, that you push your ego in pursuit of love or lOve and misdirect your heart’s energy, ironically creating a reality that eventually does not believe in love or lOve?

Ah the test. To em-power your heart or to end-the-power of your heart with your ego’s desires and longings? To love or lOve or love and lOve?

Ah the test…

6 days…

Andrew Smith © 2016

Art by karimdell

The Venus Diaries on the 5th January as Venus octiles Pluto

7 days…

Grown invisibly within you have been branches that now need to be disentangled from your heart. You have started to realise how your look often darkened when you should have felt safe enough to fall toward love and how deep down your eyes were always owned by someone or something, converting whoever came into a further figure of the wrong, because you were already torn. But something is changing as your memory is ready to show you everything, your soul having waited all these years for you to return and know. And yes, you will have to scrape through all the layers of covering and according to your readiness, everything will open, offering you the prospects of true freedom, as you silently grieve, release and let go. But inwardly weep as you may, your tears fall over that wounded place, washing away your hurt and free your heart and your forgiveness stills the hunger of that wound. Ready to walk from that place, reunited with your banished heart, healed and free, you will soon start to feel the clear and free air bless your refreshed, renewed and finally maturing heart!

7 days…

Andrew Smith © 2017

Image by Delores DeVelde

The Venus Diaries on the 4th January as Piscean Venus octiles Pluto

8 days …

Your heart is like the ocean. On the surface, it is constantly being whipped up by the breath of the world and the eros of the Heavenly Queen. Chaotic it appears, one moment calm, the next turbulent. But go a little deeper and you discover that the waters of the ocean constantly move in a purposeful and determined manner. You cannot see these forces from the surface. And you cannot see the great abundance of life within the ocean looking only from the surface.

Likewise, if you look at your heart from the surface, that place where you are ‘expected’ to live every day, you cannot see its depths, or the greater currents that are moving your life, or the greater purpose for which you have come. But deep down your heart is quiet and there are deeper currents moving your life; currents that have a telos; currents that have purpose, meaning and an unfathomable ability to connect your love to lOve; currents that if you surrender, trust and let go, will enable you to drown in lOve.

Remember that you can remain whole and intact, even if you let go; remember that you can rise above the heart-wrenching crises that have befallen your earthly self, transforming that pain into something more powerful, as you remember that you can do nothing more than lOve and lOve again and again, as there is nothing more transformative than an open, vulnerable, lOving heart. It is your life giver and sustainer, without which you would wither and desiccate, in the same way that our earth cannot survive without its Living Water. So lOve and lOve again and again. Don’t lose the faith if your heart remembers the raw and darker times today.

8 days …

Andrew Smith © 2016

Image Credit – stock image